xmas recap, biloxi excursion, and good ole p-cola

Some people say, 'tis better to give than to receive. Well, I gave. $500 worth of stuff. I bet you that frugal people quoted that to get more out of their more generous friends. The jerks. =P However, I did get some nice presents. I got a cute pink XOXO mini-backpack, a pink v-neck lacy top, a mini makeup kit, a Ginobili jersey (!), and the book I wanted (he's just not that into you).

It actually snowed for Christmas. Everywhere except for where I was. It snowed in pcola, and lots of areas in Texas, but not SA. The Christmas party was basically me singing karaoke until midnight, and then the drunken titos take over with their renditions of jingle bells, puff the magic dragon, and desperado. Yes, fun was had by all, but maybe a little too much fun had by certain others. And then, there are some people whom I would never have pegged for... thrill-seekers. Shocking and crazy, and a bit disgusting... ewww.

We went to Houston on Christmas day. Had an uneventful Christmas night watching DVDs at my Aunt's house, but got to reconnect with an old acquaintance, so all was not lost. But, the drive to Houston was what the day was really about. Getting drunk off Sprite and Sudafed, hahaha... good times.

The family headed for Biloxi, watched an overpriced Broadway Christmas show, and in the after hours my parents gambled. I can't wait til next year when i can join them! Yes!!!!

So, now I'm back in p'cola. Did my bit in raising the local economy down in the mall. I also managed to read that self-help book cover to cover, and let me tell you... it's pretty redundant info, but it's worth it.

At the end of the book, it says that I should make my own list of "super helpful standards that I will never ever forget or forsake no matter how hot I think he is," so without further adieu:

1. I will not date a man who invades my personal space without permission.
2. I will not be with a man who does not respect my values.
3. I will not be with a man who disrespects my family and their values.
4. I will not date a man who is a self-proclaimed anything.
5. I will not go out with a man against whom I would feel I'm constantly debating.

Owen tried to argue with me on one of the book's dogmas: do not date a man who does not ask you out first. The only reason I cannot argue to capacity is because... well, owen is a special case, and his views on mating rituals are a bit warped. Oh, and owen also says I'm unapproachable. To him, I am. good.

Wearing ribbons and a bow has never been so in style

Went crazy in Borders today and wrapped up a storm, and we got over $300 in donations! Shooooot.... it had to be my girl and I being loud and illegally cute. Too bad none of the money goes to me, but I got free coffee from a guy whose first name is my last name.

As much as I love being in Texas, I really miss the freedoms I had in Gainesville, because now there are parents within a 20-foot radius. So, pretty much all we're allowed to go out for is shopping. Kristine has major Christmas shopping left to do (talk about last minute, it's Christmas EVE!), and even though I'm done, I keep shopping too. Daaannnng..... Too much money spent, I'm a poor broke college child with a falling GPA.

My daddy bought a new car today, and traded in the car which I affectionally call "the spursmobile." It's the end of an era, for sure. We have had that car for as long as my Aunt has been married (since '93). We went from coast to coast, roadtrippin' in that car, and back in the day I thought it was the best car. We had a TV, VCR, and a nintendo in it, and it had two coolers on both sides. Now that I look back on it, we were pimpin' it at the time. HAHA, who knew?? I remember when we traded in another van we had... it was a Ford Aerostar. It was back in 96 or something, and I cried and cried and begged my dad not to trade it, but trading it was unavoidable. Now, I just don't care about the spursmobile. We've probably spent more time in that car than we've lived in our house, and maybe my apathy is accountable to my maturity, but I feel like I should feel more sympathy to that car. Sure, it's an inanimate object, but we sold it, right before Christmas. We're going to be driving back to Florida in that new car-- a Lexus RX300. It's going to be soooo cramped. Grrrrr.

So here's the deal w/ stupid leaner. He thinks he's flirting back. Yes, back. What the heck. I'm making an effort to make this Blog more child-friendly with a little less F-four-letter-words, but I am in such a disbelief that makes me wish I knew more expletives so that I could utilize them for this very person and this very situation. Perhaps I could invent some, but later when I'm more composed, maybe. The other night I was searching iVillage.com for advice on letting him down gently. Here is the funniest I found:

I don’t believe in God or marriage, and I think drug legalization is the way to go.

But then again, he might think I'm flirting with him, because he is that dense. Here's most likely what I will say:

Thank you for your interest, I am flattered by the compliment. However, I am interested in someone else at this time. I wish you all the luck in finding someone who is compatible with you.

But, who says compatible in conversational talk, really? I wish I could just yell at him. Lots of bad words. Bad words that begin with F and end with uck you. But, I'm ready for a happy Christmas Eve, free from weirdo leaner thoughts. The Spurs won against the Twolves tonight. Yay, they did not let me down two nights in a row, and tomorrow I will definitely sell out to the sushi chef in G-ville who dogs on my boys.

Well, try out for American Idol AGAIN!

For the past couple days I've been singing at every party, and the Titas and Titos all go crazy. =) It's hard not to have an inflated ego right now, but I'm trying to keep myself grounded with the fact that my semester report card is going to be the worst yet. I already know it. Well, at least I have my superlative singing career to fall back on =P

It's also been hard not to talk about certain people I left behind in Gainesville... some whom I miss, and some who lean. Although the latter is infinitely more detestable, I can't help but tell and retell stories of his attempts, because I'm sure everyone would enjoy a good laugh.

And then, there is he from whom my misfortunes stem. He who ruined my semester by smiling at me. I find it hard to talk about him without smiling and putting my first name and his last name together. Funny and pathetic, but oh well... there's always tomorrow to start anew.

The wedding was simply fabulous, and I cannot believe how perfect Bonnie and Chris are for each other. They're now taking a cruise somewhere in the Caribbean (and getting some major freakiness on!). Their story is so sweet: high school sweethearts, one another's first and only love, saved themselves for marriage, etc. People would tell me that I would be the kind that would save myself as well. Even though I haven't even kissed a guy yet, I don't know about that. I guess, I will give it serious thought whenever I am put in the situation, but for now I wouldn't want to commit myself either way. Meanwhile... their wedding wasn't without its glitches, which I couldn't help but wince at. And, of all places to have a honeymoon, they choose a big boat. I'm not saying it's a bad choice, but for sure mine will be on some kind of solid ground.

And now I'm in SA. Seeing everyone again was teriffic, but seeing John Luke and Michael again was definitely a shock to my senses. Tall and cute, that's all that I could think. And... 13?! definitely having a pedophilic moment. oh dear, I'm disgusted with myself. Thirteen year-olds are not supposed to be looking so... matured.

I have one Christmas wish to you this year, Santa, but I don't know if this is something that your elves can put together. I want resolution to all the uncertainties. Thanks.

and the leaning continues!

Hey, Frankenstein, why aren't you taking care of the monster you created?! And speak of the fucking devil- he's calling me right now. Who fucking calls at 3:30 in the morning?! I am so ready to tear him up. This is FRUSTRATING. Grrr.... Take a hint: I rejected you soooo many times.

Do you know what he said tonight? He told me that I should have him over at my apartment. ha...

...No.

Losers are strictly forbidden. I've become less and less forgiving in his situation, because really... he should have gotten a clue looooong ago.

His own ignorance is setting him up for getting his ego bashed in by the blunt baseball bat of truth, and whenever I come up to the plate, I'll be so eager to swing....

Okay, let's move on to more pleasant things. I do have a new admirer who is a very refreshing escape from the leaner. Eeek! there's that name again. That's it-- and derivative of lean is strictly forbidden from this blog henceforth. No more. Nein. Nyet. Wala.

I'm a perfectly fantastic person, and I don't need him, or any other him for that matter.

Next time I post, I'll be in Texas!

update on the leaner

He just called, and i just had to vent. Here are the following things he tried to get me to do with him: orgo studying, party tomorrow (at none other than the object of my stalkings), valentine's, FSA formal in April, and dating. However, he did lay off trying to front me, so I was not as annoyed.

It was actually quite refreshing to be able to hold a real conversation with him for about 2 minutes

I did remain blunt and i did not lead him on, however, I cannot help what he still feels. I've been trying to call my fairy godmother but he's not picking up, so blogger will have to do til then.

Yes, there's a party tomorrow at Dr. Can's place. If I were to go, it would be for him, and not for the leaner. Even then, my presence at the party would be shaky, depending on how much studying will be accomplished during the day. If it was anything like today, then I will be confined to my room for the rest of the night. I won't see the leaner, but then I won't see the good doctor.

Leaner not only asked me to be his girlfriend, but he asked me to be his valentine and his date to the FSA formal in April.

He covered all his bases for the spring semester...

I had my reservations before about showing up at the FSA semi because he was the first to ask me to that, and i would have shown up with someone else, but now I'm a little less forgiving. oh dear me, what did i do to deserve such attentions?

I want to know so I can stop

Formal: I'll be holding out for Dr. Can. Or maybe Tiger. Or someone else who isn't the leaner.

Sleep-deprived, and CNN is on

All the blood in my veins- gone. It's been replaced by cheap instant coffee. I hate exam time.

I cannot believe Scott Peterson has been sentenced to death. I can't believe the jury didn't like him that much. I mean, I think he's a mo-fo wife killer that deserves to be castrated w/o anesthesia, and I do think he's going to the worst part of hell, but wow... death.

Yesterday made it one year since Saddam Hussein was captured. Isn't strange how both Saddam Hussein and Scott Peterson were brought to justice on the same day? I wonder what will happen a year from now. I wonder if this somehow marks the second coming. If the second coming is at hand, then I hope it comes before tomorrow so I wouldn't have to study for my Wednesday morning exam.

Most likely not. Oh well.

Horoscope:

Now is a good time to go out on dates or ask folks out for the first time. Your interpersonal skills are flawless and you'll get along well with almost anyone.

Yeah. I can imagine that phone call right now: "Hey. I'm the girl of your dreams. I want you to take me out." Why would I say that? don't know, but I love utilizing Franz Ferdinand lyrics to 'da illest.

**One more thing-- isn't if funny how I would prefer judgement day over exams?

Tables are turned, sucker!

We'll see how much longer this can go for before you crack. Great advice, you guys. Confidence is key.

I looked good at the restaurant today. No, really. I was looking so good, all the guys were hollering. One family was paying out, and the mother told me i was pretty. I said, oh, thank you. Then she said,

my son thinks you're pretty too, but he didn't know how to tell you!

Her son was hiding his head after that. That must have been embarrassing for him. I can only imagine if my mom went up to some guy I liked and said that.

I would go outside, bury myself a 6 foot hole, and let myself fall in.

I wonder why the hole is 6 feet deep. Who made up that rule? Maybe they didn't want dead people crawling out. Okay, morbid humor. moving on.

okay, the horoscope for today:

Everyone around you seems to be in rather giddy high spirits. It may inspire you to adopt an attitude that is less cautious than usual. Not a good idea if you're dealing with money manners. You need to be every bit as wily, resourceful and cautious as you can possibly be. Don't listen to a friend who tells you to splurge on something. What do they know about your budget? Definitely not as much as you do

Extremely pertinent as I'm heading to epcot tomorrow with my aunt. Good times.

One last thing:

If you dream of getting or giving a hickey, you are living dangerously and your reputation could be at stake. Slow down!

Who, me?? ~.^

Resolutions

Mine
+stop procrastinating
+limit CNN to 2 hours a day
+wash dishes before going to bed
+turn in homework when its due
+eye contact
+learn a new piano piece
+learn some tagalog grammar
+keep AMC to a minimum
+if you have nothing nice to say, just zip it

Brigettes
+stop lying to your roommate
+let roommate know what you took, no matter how inconsequential
+remember that roommate is ever-forgiving

So, i'm watching CNN instead of studying

Whoever says that Iraq is in no way connected to 9/11 is completely ignorant, and I daresay, still possessing a pre 9/11 mindset. 9/11 has taught us to open our eyes to possibilities of other countries being a threat to our security. Topping the list was Iraq, North Korea, and Iran. America's ties with N.Korea and Iran are picometers thin, but still there, and as long as a tie still remains, there is still hope for resolution.

Iraq time and time again has threatened the US, allied itself with anyone in opposition to our country, attacked neighboring countries to expand its own vicious empire, and spat on any and every diplomatic entreaty. I hate sounding like some arrogant American, but Sadaam Hussein could not remain as their despot for any longer without some sort of attack against us. We know he was stealing money from the UN and from his own people, he had his plans for WMD production, he had commissioned top engineers to make these WMD, and he had a great hatred for us.

How can someone honestly say that he was unaware September tenth of any sort of attack on America going down? How can people continue bashing the decision to go to war when we know very well what a malicious and evil ruler he was?

I do understand that facts weren't in place when that critical decision was made. I do not deny that they found no WMD and that only now are they coming up with evidence to justify a war declared last year. But, we did not only rely on those facts. We have decades upon decades of experience in dealing with them, and it only took common sense to see the growing hatred welling in Iraq.

I do realize the audacity of my statement, but

had we not attacked Iraq when we did, they would have had every resource in place by 2007 to launch their own attack on us.

That is what I believe.

Funny results to white peoples' ignorance

Back in 2000, I read and fell in love with every single line of Memoirs of a Geisha, and ever since then I've wanted to see it become a movie. Steven Spielberg had a claim over it for four years, but he kept postponing production because of other projects. Earlier this year, he finally decided to start, and he first recruited Chicago producer Rob Marshall to direct. Now, despite the fact that the book was written by a white man (don't be fooled by the title), and that the two people heading the movie project are two of the biggest names in Hollywood, you think they'd offer more credibility and a cultural accuracy to the movie. But no, it isn't as easy as that.

Despite Asian efforts to produce the image of a multi-national, multi-ethnic group of people, rather than either being judged as Chinese or Japanese, it has become egregiously apparent that we have not suceeded. The title character-- the Japanese Geisha Sayuri -- will be played by none other than Crouching-Tiger, Hidden Dragon star Zhang Ziyi. But, wait a minute... isn't she Chinese??? Other names on the billing: Michelle Yeoh, Karl Yune, Navia Nguyen, Tsai Chin, Kenneth Tsang. Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, Chinese, Chinese. At least they cast the Chairman as Japanese-- Ken Watanabe, the true star of the Last Samurai.

This is the white man's defense: they are actors before anything else.
My response: There's a reason no person would cast Denzel Washington as George Washington in a Revolutionary War epic, and there's a reason why Tom Hanks will never be Martin Luther King. Great actors in their own right, but they couldn't convey a part. Likewise, Korean does not equal Vietnamese does not equal Japanese. What really boils my boba tea is that these people absolutely refuse to go any other way.

So, what now? We are to sit and wait until the movie comes out next year. But for now, we can laugh. They have to get so many different translators on the movie set so that the actors, who know their native tongue (and maybe a few know English) can communicate with each other.

Moral of the story: Ignorance is costly.

Deseo tu attencion... deseo tu afecto... yo le deseo...

You're like the sun: drawing people like satellites into your orbit. Your sunny disposition warms everyone around you and draws admirers like honeysuckle draw bees. You'll be buzzing quite industriously, filled with purpose and supremely confident. Now is the time to end the procrastination and try your hand at a new skill you've been wanting to learn. Free from fears of failure, take advantage of your self-assurance and jump in with both feet. You can't win a race until you start running.

My horoscope.

2 references

...and I said I was over. =P Well, you see... before I thought there was no chance. Last night (and maybe I'm being hopeful), but I could have sworn you wanted to tell me something other than what was coming out of your mouth...

or, maybe i'm just being hopeful

I should end the procrastination and free myself fears of failure... but, first I need some coffee. I'm hoping that stupid autocad project will only take me 5 hours, but who am i kidding? If i start now, I'll be lucky to get out by 11. 11 PM, that is.

Check out the new design...

Guess what I'm wanting for Christmas.. =) So, at the expense of 3 very important classes, I spent much of yesterday doing this layout with some very unimpressive css knowledge under my belt. oh well.

Today is the last day of class! Problem is, I could use a few more days to get these things turned in. =/

Got another invitation to that damned semi-formal, and because I'd rather lie than potentially hurt someone else's feelings, I'm stuck... stuck in some muck. Would weigh out the possibilities on the blog, but i gotta finish my homework.

this sucks

I don't even know where to begin, but I will start by saying, I have the biggest head ache right now. I want to say all the

teen-angsty melodrama cliches

, despite sounding overly trite and degrading this blog from lame to pathetic, but never is it more appropriate than at this very moment.

IT'S NOT FAIR, THIS SUCKS, I HATE WHAT THEY'RE EXPECTING ME TO DO,and
THEY CAN'T MAKE ME.

Why even spend Christmas with them if they don't regard family in the same fashion? Why plan my holidays around their schedule?! Why even go home?? Here is the one sentence I could think of that would sufficely sum up all the injustice and anger and ire I'm feeling. Christmas Morning-- you know, the first morning that there was true hope in the world since the days of Creation-- I'll be

eastbound on I-10.

some morning insight

I still can't believe the attentions I'm receiving now. It's just such a different situation from a year ago, I couldn't really compare. Was it the 15-pounds shed, or the 12-inches of hair chopped off, or the DTJ performance, or... as Lavell or Brigette would put it, I went wild?

I read my posts from a year ago, and I would think the year-younger me would be doing these things under the same circumstances. I don't think my persona has changed that much, other than I have become more active socially (and i think that this activity is inversely proportional to my academic activity). But, I must admit I'm overcoming my shyness, with a little help from some really nice people whose attentions to me are a mystery yet very much appreciated. Speaking of which, I should make them all christmas cards. =)

Slowly but surely I'll get to the point where I'm confident enough in myself... but I won't worry about it the rest of the year. I'll make that a resolution for next year.

But getting back to the initial question. I wouldn't say I went wild, because I do hold the same morals and virtues as I did a year ago, excepting that I am less gaurded about the amount of alcohol I consume in the context of location and company. But I still won't go crazy drunk or anything. I never believed in prohibiting alcohol, just in conscious monitoring of intake. Other people will get stinking drunk and make fools of themselves.

Now that I think of it, the biggest change in me has been my ability to open up to people and to allow myself to be vulnerable. I have always been trusting of people's nature, but not so much of their intentions with me. Maybe I can handle it better now if they do let me down, because I have experienced it already and know that I can cope, forgive, and forget. And, I'm very happy with the people I have been able to put trust in thus far. Without them, I don't think I could be so optimistic.

Amazingly pertinent

What else could I be talking about? My horoscope from yesterday!

Be open and prompt. Whether you're among friends or in a roomful of strangers, your wishes are relevant. Your hopes might line up perfectly with someone else's possibilities. Emotional candor is part of your cosmic profile, even if you sometimes think of yourself as guarded or evasive. A bold gambit is worth the risk. You might be surprised when you see all the people who appreciate your forthcoming style. It could amaze you even more when they rise to your expectations. Maybe you're hired after a long interviewing process. Maybe you just found yourself a new tribe.

Tonight at the restaurant was... interesting. However, I got sick...

damn you, Mark

. And I did not get out until 12:15. However, I did earn $40. Not too bad, eh?

Got proposed to, and then gay guys hit on my fiance. hahaha... you know you got a good one when other guys find him attractive. One guy I never expected to really get to know totally opened up today. Good to finally get to know him, but somewhat dejected by a certain thing he told me. Oh well, it's not my place to say, even if no one reads this anyway. =P And, the quote of the night goes to Larry, who said, very audibly in the restaurant,

I don't believe you when you say you've never had a boyfriend

" Okay, so maybe you should say it in Spanish too, Larry, so the cooks in the back would be able to hear you as well. Lastly, was almost fired today, or at least I felt as if I should have been. It took me two hours to close! I would have cried had i not been so tired and amused by the situation. Mr. Boss man said to me, "I dread Sundays, because I know you're cashier-ing." OUCH. I had to bite my lip from smiling, pwaahahahaha!

I do believe that I hold a special place in each and every one of my male coworkers' hearts. They are confiding in me more, and they know about my sad lonely twenty years. Now... I believe I'm over that certain sushi chef. Just like that. It's not that I found a flaw in him, but rather I think with all the girls fawning over him, it kinda makes me standoff-ish. He's still hot, and all that, but I see have a minutae of a chance with someone as in demand as him, so I'm done. And, knowing that there's a smaller chance of my actually being something more to him, it makes me more free to do whatever I want. That means, crazy devil-may-care manda-ganda is going to take over in all her blogging glory. Mind you, this is minus the somewhat stalker-ish tendencies. Yeah... I'll neglect to tell him that.

But, that also means I no longer have someone I'm truly truly pining over. Although bittersweet to be without, it's definitely better in so many ways. 1: if I refuse to care about him, it shall be so. 2: certain levels of pining is unhealthy and destructive to my wellbeing. 3: although it made for great moments of gushing stupidly to friends, strangers, and this blog, it will mean i can talk about more important things, like P Diddy for president!

Anyway... gotta imbibe some caffeine before I pass out over my keyboard.

Press Rewind

now we're back to last week where i was a procrastinating loser who was ready to give up. Somewhere around Wednesday I became hopeful, but it was in vain. So, here's the reality I'm facing: slim chances and a fun Christmas regardless. one out of two isn't bad at all.

But, two out of two would have been just too good to be true.

... and so the story changes from fairy tale to a sub-par undramatic soap opera unfortunate enough to have me as the main star.

Three years ago, December third was a Monday.

Mr. Webb... I really wish I could hear you sing your falsetto right now. You always put us first sopranos to shame. =)

That last time, we were in Orlando singing Christmas songs, and I couldn't remember you any happier than at that moment. I can only hope that the next time we meet, I'll be a part of the choir of angels that you're conducting now.

you know you want a taste of my apritada

I'm so excited to be cooking tonight! Also, christmas decorating will be fun.

Tenative plans for getting eff-ed up this Christmas

One word:

TEQUILA!

We will try every tequila drink there is...

twice!

I have found my drinking buddy-- too bad she lives a bazillion miles away. On second thought, maybe it's better off that way. =P

It is so exciting now. We have movies to see, places to shop, and boys to string along. And the ultimate pinnacle of it all-- drunken chess and playing with plastic knives. We have planned it all. Christmas is going to be unforgetable. Well, we might not remember all of the drunken moments, or the moments where we black out from sheer exhaustion, but I'm looking forward to it all.

Now, if pesky Fluids and Heat Transfer would shrivel up and die.

I'm anything but Cinderella

No sooner than I had claimed to be cold-turkeying it do I go and tell his close friend how I adore him... him, not the friend. Although, after this experience I very much adore you too, mr. fairy godmother. All you're missing is the magic wand! How will I ever repay you for your kindness??

Ding-dong, let's ring the wedding bells!! Now, it's all a matter of time, and I want all of your children named after me! After all, I have many names. =P The evil stepsisters only have their interests at heart, and they have the cutest wedding photo for the two of you. You can't resist it anymore.

I've been there before, and that life's a bore. So full of the superficial.
[[Oh! so that's what she's saying!!!!! it all makes sense now.]]
Some people want it all, but I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you, baby, If I ain't got you, baby

Fairytale endings are so sweet...

I happen to like cold turkey

what a horrible euphemism for quitting. I wish I knew the loser who decided saying cold turkey meant quit. I'd ask him why, and then I'd ask him if he ever had cold turkey with ketchup and rice. I'd say... brush it off like dandruff. No one likes dandruff.

Okay, so I do think I need to move on. Put a lid whatever it is that I've opened. Yet like Pandora, I'm compelled to see what's inside, even after I just checked its contents thirty minutes ago.

So, I checked the proverbial box, and I'm convinced there is nothing more I can do but pine and whine and all that other silly girl stuff that I should have outgrown when i was 13. Nothing more. I'd like to think of this as a... dying star, or a dimming lightbulb. slowly fading into a dark void lightyears away. And, no one will miss that light when there's the sun.

Don't get my simile? don't understand the metaphor? I'm trying to make sense of it myself.

Oh... wait a minute now

Received a surprise... somewhat bittersweet. Ironic- definitely.

So, what is the thing I wanted to avoid all day? Work
Who is the one person I want to notice me? keep guessing...

Well, he showed up at my work tonight for dinner. I had told him I would be working Sunday, but maybe it's coincidence that the meeting was scheduled to be Sunday night at the restaurant.

And, it's funny how horoscopes can be vague enough to fit any situation yet profound once a situation is found to fit.

Lesson Learned: When you ask, you do receive

So, I started on the 4.5 hour trip from Pensacola to Gainesville at 11am. It's 10:30 now, and I just got home. Driving home, I must admit that I kept thinking of a way I could get out of having to work tonight.
If everything went out as I planned, I would have been home at 4pm, but I didn't want to go to work because of the mounds of homework due tomorrow, but today

Murphy's law reigned supreme in the worst possible way

Firstly: somewhat expected, traffic was just plain terrible.
Secondly: somewhat foreseen, crossing the I-10 bridge took an hour and a half. Picture it-- hundreds of cars merging onto a one-lane bridge spanning a couple of miles. However, in the amount of time I had wasted on that bridge, I did manage to revamp my cell's phonebook.

Yes. While driving.
Moving on.

Thirdly: totally unexpected and unforeseen, 45 minutes away from Gainesville my drive starts getting a little bumpy. To be on the safe side, I check the tires. They were okay, but the psi was a little low, so a quick call to daddy turns into daddy's rant about a recent Walmart tire rotation done on my car wherein the psi is supposed to be above 30 (Damn Walmart for my misfortunes, soon to be recounted exclusively and uninhibitedly on this blog). Quickly I get distressed, and I think to myself, "okay, just get the tires filled." I spot an air compressor (or whatever those things are called) at the BP gas station, and I get out of my car, and wouldn't you know? I locked the door behind me. And, yes,

the key was still in the ignition.
The car was still running.
fuuuuuuuck.

Still on the phone with daddy dearest, I fill him in, and he becomes even angrier. Then, after he runs out of words to express how deeply upset he is, he gives the phone to my mom, and she continues.
This is the third time I've locked myself out. Stupid. No other word could fit so perfectly. Luckily for me, I'm a AAA member. AAA has bailed me out on my two prior offenses, so I was happy and quick to sing their praises when they said they'd come within an hour to slim jim my car ("definitely within the hour since your car is running," they told me). I told my parents. I called my roommate. I told my boss that I got a flat tire, but I would be there around 8. That was at 6pm.
At 7:30pm, I was still stranded, and

I was crying into a stranger's cell phone

trying to explain how frustrated I was to the AAA representative. My cell phone had been dead thirty minutes.

At 9:30 pm, finally they arrive. They being the oxymoronic savior and demon of my situation whom I hate to love and love to hate. The locksmiths. Without an explaination, apology, or much else, they pop open my car, check my ID, and leave.

I had waited two and a half hours for that two minutes.

My superstitious self is trying to trace back to where I went wrong, and all I can think of is my trying to get out of working, and

God definitely provided me with the most outlandish excuse that nobody would believe

Oh, and my horoscope for today:

Why is it that so few people are able to live up to your expectations right now? Today you might have to face the realization that others may not be as reliable as you had hoped. If you're unprepared to go off on your own, be more cautious about the allies you choose this time. Look at things from a different side. Seeing a situation from the other person's vantage point may help you be less critical. Tonight, expect a sweet surprise from your best pal or lover.

I'm still waiting for that sweet surprise. Thirty minutes are now left in the day... anyone up for it??

I didn't think so.

a reason to give thanks

the leaner did not call... =)

did not send out the email i said I would. I am reconsidering it, because a very close friend is telling me i shouldn't. What should I do?

answer: go shopping! Yay for after-thanksgiving sales.

Something different

How many times have I promised change on this blog and have failed to follow through? Not many times. This blog has allowed me to be free, and it has allowed me to look at myself and laugh. For instance, I look at my posts from two years ago and find it amusing to think that I could be so angry, trivial, pensive, insightful, and stupid... all in one post.

I've always felt comfortable putting words to paper, or in this case, typing out what I feel. I feel infinitely more articulate at expressing myself through this medium than any other form of communication. For example... how many big words (words with more than 5 letters) did I just use in that last sentence alone? I count seven. My tongue would have twisted after three.

So, here it is: my big plan. I am going to email him, and let it all out. Well, not all of it, but my feelings will no longer be confined to close friends and complete strangers that happen to peruse my blog on given days. I have an idea of what to say, but I have no idea what his email is. That may present a problem, but I'm determined to send this email.

This is an older, wiser Amanda who has lived two decades now. I've lived life passively, and on occassion things trickle down that make me happy, but for the most part I'm dissatisfied that not more things have come my way. But, I see now that I should change it up. I should make things happen rather than let things happen. I don't know how much longer I can live in the passenger's seat when I my future requires someone driven. It irritates me that I have known this all along and still have not acted on it.

So, this somewhat foolish attempt at taking charge is a monumental step of assertiveness for me. The success of this email (his reciprocation of my feelings) would not affect any future assertive actions on my part. Rather, his response will encourage me to continue on this track, because it gives me results. Sure, it is forced, but knowing is better than speculating. At least, that's what I'm projecting.

Besides, I'm cute. How could he not like me? =)

Shit...

Today I stepped onto the scale, with other people in the room. I got a physical assessment done. I lost 15 pounds since last year. I don't usually curse, but... dang. I didn't realize I lost that much. I have Devin to thank. It was his wise words that modeled my whole dietary regiment: "You won't gain weight if you crap it all out." But... 15 pounds is alot of bowel movements.

Okay, how did my blog come to this. Nasty coprolalic talk. Enough. Moving on.

Kenny, if you take care of the Leaner, you will be the most awesome person I know.

I will bake you a cake every day, and I will name all my future children after you.

Not promising

My Horoscope for today:

A conflict may turn unexpectedly ugly. Try to de-escalate. Lower the stakes.

It's time to bring closure to a certain relationship issue you've been anguishing over. There's no time to mope. Do what you've got to do and move on. It's time, and you know it.

The dreamer inside of you finally realizes that it's time to face up to reality. Besides, what is the point of wasting these next days waiting for events that will never happen? By forcing the issue, you could be stuck with something worse. If you must lead with your head, be sure to wear a padded helmet. Your competitors might have gear that is newer and more high-tech than yours, but you have the leading edge when it comes to brainpower.

----

I don't like the sound of this.

Ron Artest

Quoting Sir Charles, you had the right to beat the hell out of anyone who is stupid enough to pick a fight with you. Come on now... REALLY... where does that puny white guy with glasses go off thinking he can take on the Defensive Player of the Year? I want to know why this person, who disrespected the NBA player in the first place, is being protected by the NBA now.

But then again, I feel a bit weird coming to the defense of a person who was getting paid millions to play a two-hour game. Plus, he's not a Spur (but then again, no spur would do that). I'm just upset that Artest got punished to the extreme and that other person got nothing.

One thing I'd only admit on this blog

Okay, maybe not, but we'll see...

Owen, you were right. Can you believe? Right now I revel in it, but I am scared too that I might do something that might lead people on. Anonymity, although irritating, was so much more manageable.

Where do these people come from?! I do realize I carry a bit of appeal, but this much? Maybe I've got a big head from the whole thing =P Most likely.

I'm the sexy chica right now.

Coincidental things are so funny

I found ten dollars in my pocket yesterday, so I thought to myself in church, "if this preacher does not talk about money during the homily today, I'm going to give all of my $10 in tithing." Suprisingly, he did not talk about money (except for once, but I decided to not let it irk me), and I contributed all of my $10. So, I worked today... guess how much I got back in tips? I swear it's some karmic cycle that I should always have some amount of money with me at one time. It reminds me of that one Seinfeld episode where he kept getting $20 back.

I feel like I'm falling into some upcoming drama at work. Practically everyone knows now how i've been without, and I'm sure they want to see who can fix me up the fastest. Even one of the customers tonight wanted to play matchmaker. Talk about your akward moments. Thank the pilgrims and native americans for thanksgiving so I won't have to worry about it for another week.

Here are a few quickies:
So, no work was done this weekend. Typical, and extremely disturbing. what's wrong with me?
Proud to be a Gator for once
Not proud of dismal game against toronto. Duncan, what happened??
Ready to be bold ^.~ well... almost.

It's been one week

One week since DTJ, and where am I now? sitting in my room ignoring Kaplan stuff and watching the UF/FSU game.

Maybe I thought it was much more than it was, and I expected more from it than I should have. Or, rather, I expected more from certain people than I should have. But, one good thing came from it-- everyone knows who I am now. =)

But, now I must make my reasons for giving thanks this Thursday. Yes, it's Saturday, but I figure it'll be a very long list, so I'll start now.

+UF beat FSU this year (ending an FSU streak since '86).
+true friends
+new friends
+old friends
+a decisive election (where my candidate won!)
+my job
+the guys that make going to work worthwhile... ::sigh::
+acquaintances
+my family's safety and well-being
+good times
+bad time that make me appreciate the good times
+my own safety and well-being.

enough for now. will watch the rest of this outstanding Gator football game.

post-work thoughts

The hair looked good
I looked good
Rockin' a black top
and subtle-yet-scandalous denim skirt
Did you notice?
Doesn't matter...
heads turned regardless =p

Work was untolerable, knowing that I could have been out that Friday with the leaner. He could have been leaning on me last night. And just when I was ready to cry myself to sleep for being alone and forgotten, the cell rang, and to hear his playful and inviting voice made heart overflowed with happiness.***

***Trying to attempt written sarcasm. How did I do?

Basketball was on in the sushi bar. They asked me why I liked the spurs so much. I told them Ginobili was my husband. ::wink, nudge::

horoscope mystery solved... major disappointment

It's the leaner. He called me up, and said "I just wanna spend time with you." And to think I was afraid he could tell by my body motion last Monday that I didn't want to be near him...

However, he also called. He who makes me all giddy and annoyingly gushy. He wanted his mic back. oh. right.

of course, he wouldn't call me up for no reason, but the leaner would.

Well, that's no surprise...

My Horoscope today: A certain someone has been thinking about you nonstop since your last meeting, which really isn't all that hard to believe. Who could ever resist you when you turn that seductive gaze their way?

I'd be surprise if it were D----, but then again, that would be unlikely wouldn't it? =P

I'm extremely excited about next week. Thanksgiving! Yes! Lunch with the family, and dinner with... strangers? Mother will be working Thanksgiving evening, so we'll have a Thanksgiving lunch. And, I'll have dinner with one of my best friends from Pensacola, and his girlfriend's family. I don't quite know what to make of it. But, Carlo loves An! yay, that's something to be thankful about. What do Vietnamese ppl eat for Thanksgiving, anyway? One thing I can count on: rice, yummy!

Another thing: After-Thanksgiving sales in Alabama! Hey ya! I love outlet malls, buying new clothes, and getting good deals. Good times are surely to come.

This weekend: unhappiness. working three nights in a row will surely give me more money to spend next friday, but it's the fact that I'll be working friday, saturday, and sunday night. bleeeehhh... Three nights of saying, "Szechuan Panda, how may I help you?" into the phone. Three nights of "mi corazon" from the cooks in the back (mex. cooks in a chinese restaurant... go fig). Three nights of coming home smelling like Chinese food.

But, what happened yesterday night? I had an open notes test which took 3 hours to finish. Not good. I had not slept all day yesterday, so I fell asleep watching the Spurs game. I couldn't go out with my paramour Keith and his friend Brian... very unfortunate. Hopefully they fared well in my absence. I didn't go to the party yesterday night-- crazy filipino college kids celebrating what a success DTJ was. Sure, he was there, but I am learning how to remain unbothered by it. I'm getting better, but still a long way from normal.

2008: vote for a ghettofabulous America

Continuing with my campaign for a President Puffy come 2008, I've been thinking of what we would call him if he were elected. Here are a few thoughts:

Prezzy Dizzle, fo shizzle...

the First Bad Boy

America's Daddy

Sean "Prezididdydent" Combs

Okay, I think I've said about enough for now. back to this studying thing....

maroon 5 and john mayer turn me on

Their voices alone are distractions. How am I ever supposed to get studying done at 4am?

"I know I don't know you, but I want you so bad"

Stick to the book

That's what i need to do. I need to forget everything else. Heat Transfer is important.

Oooh... Cheaters is on.

Friends, old and new

With all the people I know here in Gainesville, there are few real friends whom I can totally relate to and tell anything. I'm happy to even claim to have a few, considering it takes me a while to trust people completely. And last night, a friend came through for me in a way I never expected, and I am so grateful for that hour-long chat on AIM that straightened out lots of things for me.

When I was chatting with my friend, the one thing he would tell me over and over was

You have nothing to lose in taking a chance

and I would respond with

lol... i don't know

but rest assured, friend, that your words have sunken in. One thing comes to mind when I think about a certain thing now, and that's of a similar situation in my freshman year of high school in SA. I was not bold, and I ended up missing out.

It seems as if I remain passive this time around, history might just repeat itself

A bandaid may have finally been put on an old friendship that I thought was unsalvagable. A friend and I are on speaking terms again, and if this friend matured between then and now, nothing but good things would come about.
And, I was able to chat with two friends from the past.

After 5 years and 3000 or so miles I could still pick up as if we had had lunch together just yesterday. Their happiness made me happy, and their words made me smile.

I miss them both, and all my other all-but-forgotten friends. And, it's so funny to think that they've actually aged 5 years, because I keep thinking that they are the same as they were when I moved away.

this is all so vexing!

Stupid blog deleted my last post. grrr....

I need a man... with a plan... that can... hmmmmmm.

Working three nights in a row. how depressing is that?

Thursday will be the highlight of my week. Lasagna and Spurs: can it get any better? Oh, yes it can!

I thought we were cool, but then you started leaning in... wtf? back off the personal space, and please don't scuff the Tims.

Broke my nail in bowling. owwiees.

Dropping it like it's hot: orgo, that is. how pathetic =(

the bad mood was so 4 hours ago

I'm not feeling so disgusted with the world as I used to. Thank horoscopes for inciting hope and some useful advice.

Scorpio:
Sometimes, everything hits the fan at once. Fortunately, you're ready for anything.

After all that fire, passion and playfulness, you need to get back to business -- but just for a little while. You can get a lot done in a very short amount of time if you apply yourself. Then? More fun!

Getting out of the doldrums is easier than it seems. All you have to do is go and see all your pals and how much they missed -- that will yank you out of a humdrum mood faster than anything else. Everyone is glad to see you with your special spark reignited. Draw some positive energy from all those smiling faces that come into view. Trust that you are beloved. The world shows you its smiling side.

Sunday pains, the late night edition

So, I thought it would get better from my last post, but it didn't. My feet, I mean. Everything I expected to go downhill, but I didn't realize that what awaited me downhill was the edge of a cliff that would send me hurtling into some dark abyss of confusion and misery, and I won't be able to see any outcome until after Thursday.

The job sucked today. I hate money... and painful Payless pointy-toed shoes. The only thing that made that night worthwhile was the paycheck and tips. Oh, and also the people who complimented me on those evil shoes, or on my unstellar performance last night. Whatever.

And, then I tried to look to a friend for guidance and ended up short-changed. After how far I've put myself out there for you, you can't budge a little for me?

And, this stupid boy has gotten into my head like a worm into an apple, just working it's way through and leaving a hole and fecal trail in its wake. IE, my mind is filled w/ meaningless crap, and the hole in my head has made me incapable of any rational thought. Why does so-and-so matter so much? good-for-nothing fuckwit. can't stand anymore of this.

Now here I am, 2 AM with an angry blog, and a big incomplete on my to-do list. How will I ever work my way out of this one?

Sunday pains

So, from Thursday night to early Sunday morning, it has been

parties and everything non-academic.

What an awesome time I had, and now homework nags at me like a spouse I'd want to divorce. My song was messed up by the music crew, who felt it necessary to have the background music so much louder than what I sang into the mic. Oh yeah, and I screeched the "You'll find all you'll ever need to know." Ahhhh, NOOOO!!! but, still everyone came up to me afterwards and was like

you are good

in an impressed (and non-sympathetic) tone of voice. I like compliments so much more when they're non-sympathy induced. =)

I was the queen of sweet and innocent hotness.

I was so hot, ice became steam when I came near.

And, I [heart] my guys~

they are simply fabulous!

But, I am sad to say the one guy I wanted to dance with was not on the floor. -_-

So, 5p-2a at the palace where I walked and danced in 4in. high heels... i was nearly crippled when I got home. But, on an optimistic note, my calves look

awesome!

Lastly, that guy... I dare say he likes me. Subtle hints tell me so, but I'm a little more standoffish now because of new evidence that has recently fallen into my lap. We'll see what goes on.

ABE lab and Bio Lab... you will

not

be ignored today.

Sexiness at the palace, 13nov

Just came back from practicing "the voice within" with Merfil, and i have to admit, I am gooooood. And, I'll be hott in that shirt I bought with my roommate. =) Unfortunately, I'd have to be out of my mind to wear it in public. Thank Jack Daniels there are ways to attain that state of mind.

This is my thank you speech once I win that talent show:

Merfil- my voice coach, you are awesome, and I would have never been able to find my voice without you.

Brigette- thank you for being so supportive, from freshman year to now.

Dan- if it weren't for you I wouldn't be here. Thank you for all your encouragement!

Lawrence and Gen- You guys are amazing and extremely kind to endure my screechings and still smile.

---

Considering I'm up against dance groups and singing groups, I doubt a solo act will win, but it's better to be prepared, don't you think?

The internet: the newest form of stalking...

I am falling for this boy, and do you know to what extents I will go to find out more about him? I will search xanga until I find his journal. I will save his screen name on my buddy list and read his profile when he goes online. And, I will google his name and see what links come up.

So far I've done two out of three... I'll google him after I write this post. But, the question is why. Why would I be so pathetic on a Thursday night? Why don't I just ask him? Why do I go through these phases where I totally fall for a guy, and then after a while just don't care?

Anyone who knows me well enough knows the answer-- shyness, naivete... and possible mental illness.

What is it that incites these feelings that borderline obsession? Maybe his big hair and elvis sideburns, his goofy confidence, or his questionable sincerity and facade of being the all-around good guy. I've always had a thing for confident people. You know how they say girls base their choice of guys on their father? Minus the hair-do, this guy seems eerily similar to my dad. Scarily similar. oh boy.

I need to get a life.

blah blah blah says the talking heads in the tv box

It's not enough that Bush won, but they must breakdown and analyze who voted for him, who voted against him, who will be running in 2008, and what downfall he'll face as a second-term president in 2006. Are any of these things relevent now? They seem to talk more about these things rather than what he will set out to do, or what he is doing right now. I'm glad that he got voted in, but this was all sooo last Wednesday. It's Sunday. Get over it.

They're also showing all these hollywood liberals protesting the election. Your state went to Kerry as it is. Move to Florida or Ohio and try to make a difference there, b/c you're doing nothing in Cali.

I'm going to start the P. Diddy for President campaign for 2008. That will definitely get the youth vote out there. =)

Saturday night

I just wanted to kinda document how long it takes me to finish my autocad assignment on campus. Yes-- on campus on a Saturday night. Maybe everyone's right--- I need a boyfriend.

Anyway, it's fifteen after eight right now, and I arrived here around 8. I've been trying to fix my headphones to the CD so I could listen to my fave internet radio station, but my headphones are doing that thing where it only plays music in one ear. Very Irritating.

8:50 pm: Found out how to do something in AutoCad, but for the most part got nothing done... was IMing Mike, and he invited me to eat sushi with him! Yay for Pc-cola buddies! I'm soo gone from this computer lab. So much for getting homework done =P

10:30 pm: back at the Architecture lab... =(

11:30 pm: Did not make much improvement on my autocad lab, but les and charlie are reuniting next weekend! AIM is a great diversion from Autocad =P She tried giving me advice, because she's concerned that I don't have one yet. I appreciate everyone taking a vested interest in my non-existant love life, but it's a wasted effort. She said the guys are just intimidated by my goals; I think I'm too-damned naive when it comes to these things... bleh. Back to autocad: this thing is no joke.

1:00 am: it's not so much that I've been here for 2 hours with minimal accomplishments as it is that i'm freezing my butt off by sitting in in this computer lab. I bet you it's warmer outside than it is in here. I'm going home!

For my Birthday, I got a free bus ride...

The bus driver took pity on me that I was riding the bus at 7 pm. v. sad

Went out two Thursdays in a row... Can we say three-peat?

I tried to go crazy before losing my teenage status... no one wanted to go crazy with me. Oh well. Twenty years of not going crazy is an accomplishment, right?

A John Kerry moment: I love my roommate! She she got me a Spurs birthday cake! and, she bought me a size 3 skirt... and I fit it! I am sooooo gonna win that talent show on the 13th... or, at least I would if talent = cuteness. ~.^

Should I be a fighter, or should I follow the voice within? hmmmm... Can't decide yet what to sing.

Mailed in my ballot today. Go Bush and Dick. Yeeehaaah!

I may be innocent, but I wasn't born yesterday

Revelations are mind blowing in that what is clear to you now has been what you've kinda figured all along. I just spent a nice long talk with Martin, Brigette's "friend," and basically what has been speculated ranting on my part has been the truth all along. And, it was Brigette who had in a sense organized our impromptu discussion about.... things. She was the one who asked me to answer the door when Martin came knocking, and then she who had already fallen asleep when Martin finally arrived. We chatted over free Papa John's breadsticks and chicken tenders, and I told him about the latest thing that he had done to get her so upset. Now, in recent times I've come to an understanding that whenever she gets really upset, it's because she was the one at fault, and she is working her brain trying to place blame on someone else. So, I when Brigette initially told me why she was angry with him, I felt like she was the who had set herself up to be screwed in the end (kinda like the conversation that Martin and I ended up having). I told him what happened, I told him what she said, and he told me what happened.
It's inconsequential what went on between Martin and her (because it has very little to do with me!), so I won't say any more on the matter, but we kept on the topic of Brigette, and some major revelations were made between us both about Brigette's true character. He is telling me I should talk to her about it, which is the wisest way to go on the matter, but I'm only 19.... I think there should be an understandable limit to the capacity of maturity on my part until I begin my own selfish and immature vendettas. In other words, blah blah blah, whatever, I'm going to do what I want.
But, now I feel foolish in saying what I had said before. I proudly proclaimed how good of a relationship Brigette and I had, but in fact, it was all lies on her part, and that's the part I'll probably feel the worse about 'fessing up to.

Ummm....

So many times I sign on to blogger, and then when i get to the dashboard, I don't know what to type about. Has that ever happened to you? It couldn't be that my life is boring, because I'm very happy with myself right now. I could be doing better, I guess, but for the most part, life has been happily uneventful. Maybe I should get some drama back in my life. I'll try not to post anything more until I have something more interesting to say.

You can take the pinoys out of the PI, but you can't take the PI out of the pinoys

All of my aunts and uncles are going on a cruise this friday, and they're going to meet at ivan-ravaged Pensacola on Wednesday, and party in Biloxi on Thursday before they board the ship at Mobile on Friday. This is exclusively a baby-boomer generation reunion, because all of my cousins and I are going to be stuck in the states. My cousin Maria and I talked about the injustice while I was in Oregon, and we both decided we should have our own family reunion without "the moms and dads" in Las Vegas, and we should leave the under 18 kids with them. Sounds good, right? Unfortunately, we don't have the organizational qualities that our parents have.

Anyway. Everytime my family travels up to Chicago, all of the titos and titas get together and the play mahjong. Hours upon hours will pass by, and you can still hear those little plastic mahjong tiles coming from the other room. Whenever they "shuffle" the cards together to play a new game, it sounds like a little kid trying to put up his legos. When Ferdi's girlfriend Mary (now his wife) would visit his parents' house, they would be playing mahjong in the other room. Then one day, she made the comment to Ferdi: "Your family must really like popcorn. Whenever I come over they're always popping it in the other room." Of course, she is referring to the sound of the mahjong tiles.

The popularity of the game among the Diego clan is for the fact that it's a gambling game. My family loooooves gambling, especially since the elder Diegos are on a whole luckier than other families. Gambling may be a venial sin explicitly outlined in the Bible, but when it is done among family, and when the winnings are ultimately distributed to me and my cousins (and even during tithing collections in Mass) the lack of virtue in the act is compensated by the generous nature of the winner, if that makes any sense at all.

So, on our family message board (yes, the Diego family is online), my dad posted the necessary info, since he is the unofficial person in charge of this whole event. As a side note, let me just say that I've never seen my dad so excited that his siblings will all be visiting our Florida house (even if Pensacola is not at all recovered from Ivan, and is currently suffering from Tropical Depression Matthew). For the past 5 years he's been trying to get people to visit our house, because this house is truly something to be proud of (4 bed, 2.5 bath, and one huge back yard with an enclosed pool, worth roughly a quarter-mil). Sadly, people who will remain nameless will promise to visit and at the last minute find a reason to not go. So, now everyone is coming to visit at the same time, and I'm pretty sure my dad's heart is shouting for joy. Even though he can't take them to Pensacola Beach, which is currently closed off to its own residents because of the hurricane, I'm pretty sure he'd still take all the titos to the local strip club off Palafox St, and my titas and my mom will talk about all the family gossip, starting from after dinner until 7am. Then, they'd start cooking breakfast.

Okay, back to our Diego family Yahoo Group. Each passenger on the cruise is allowed to bring two carry-ons. Now, mind you, a cruise is bound to have nightly activities and so forth and so on. My Tita Carmen posted this question on the message board:
Who will bring the mah-jong set? Maybe we need two. Let us take a count of players. Brix will play and we can bring the mah-jong set if needed. Helene said we can use the recreation center to play the mah-jong.

My titas and titos are so funny.

Mr. X

Mr. X comes from a wealthy, well-respected family. Mr. X is on the path to success, yet he is very humble and gentlemanly. Mr. X is considerably atheltic, and he can sing and play guitar, and he is devoutly Christian. Oh, and I must not forget to mention that Mr. X is handsome. Up til now, I cannot say that there is a flaw, but then why is it that Mr. X has not yet had a girlfriend? It is not as if there are no girls attracted to him, because each time I talk to him it seems that yet another girl has thrown herself at his feet, and he does not know what to do about her, he tells me. I have thought the question through and I have reached an answer: he may have all the book sense in the world, but he is totally lacking any sense in human mating rituals.

Locks o' Love

ten inches, gone. How will I ever survive the harsh Florida winters? It was one of those TV moments comparable to Felicity's (Kari Russel) own hack job. Everyone tells me it looks good, but I'm still in shock about how short it is. What keeps me from going completely insane is the thought that my hair is going to cover hairless heads of cancer patients-- a more worthy and admirable cause than looking cool with long locks. Besides, it's been my experience that hair grows back.

me and the athiest

I met an athiest this weekend coming out of 238. His name was Ted, and he helped me walk across a puddle. So, he asked for my #, and I'm incapable of resisting anyone who pays me profuse compliments (not matter how corny they may be), and he called me the next day.

He asked to hang out w/ me sometime (this was saturday that he asked) and I said, Sunday at noon, after church. He then began preaching to me how any people with religion are deluding themselves and not accepting reality. Also, by having a religion that defines what is good from what is evil, one keeps himself from objectivity and equality for all people. And, Ted ranted to me for an hour about how Christians are not open-minded and that the very basis of every religion is unfounded. He, as an athiest, relies soley on proven truths, and he said he is open-minded, but at that same point he flat out calls me irrational for being a Christian. I was willing to accept his beliefs without further discussion, but he would not stop his verbal persecution of Christianity until I would recant my own beliefs. Hypocrisy, thy name is Ted.

My Rebuttal: Firstly, the very basis of any religion is that of faith, and the very point of it is that you have to just believe without the proof of existance. Just because there is no photograph or video recording of God creating everything does not mean that it never happened. The proof that there is a God is my very existence, and the existence of life everywhere else. And, in all of my experiences, and through all the decisions I have made, God has been with me. In everything tangible, I understand His power and care. In everyone I meet, I feel His goodness and love.

And, I cried. I felt weak and belittled by his athiest arguments and I told him not to call me back. I prayed so earnestly for his soul, and I felt so horrible that i had refused his soul's cry for help. I was so angry (at him and at myself)t, but I could not hate him, and now that my head is a little clearer, I feel sorry for him. His hypocritical cynicism will let him never experience true beauty or love. He will never see life as having meaning or purpose. He will live life knowing that when he dies, he will no longer exist. If that is reality, then call me irrational for wanting more.

happy birthday, you lying stealing slutbucket...

Long time, no see. I swear, blogger is like my emotional booty call, accessible 24/7 whenever i need to let out any pent-up frustrations. Basically, anything I wouldn't have the guts to say to other people, I turn to blogger. So...

My roommate is lying to me, again. and she still contradicts me on anything I say, and she is just too deceitful. She is deceitful to the point of incapability of cohabitation. In other words, I don't know if I'd want to live with her another year.

She keeps all of these guys on a leash, and I'm not saying this in a "I have no boyfriend" fit of jealousy, because I'd rather not have any of the guys she's into, personally. Her patented pattern for weaving the proverbial web: flirt uninhibitedly with any guy and bring them home; change into "more comfortable" clothes (sports bra and shorts); get them to bare soul, make them think she understands (what she understands is what you can do for her when the time comes); let them spend the night (without intimacy-- she's conniving, not easy); repeat as desired. She talks about what she wants from a marriage, what type of person she wants to marry... but, frankly, I don't think she could commit to a person as strongly as she is committed to herself. These guys are normal guys when I meet them, and they go crazy once she's done with them. One guy employed her to decorate his apartment-- now he's proposing marriage to her. She tells me she just isn't physically attracted to him and she would never be interested in him, but I guess she just doesn't have the heart to break it to him (?). Another guy moved from New Hampshire to Florida for her. Another guy comes banging at my door at 3 in the morning, upset over something, even though she claims that nothing is going on between them and she doesn't really like him that way. Now, what would possess a guy to do that unless he were passionate about something? Yeah... uh huh, lying slutbucket.

One guy has seen her for what she is, I am happy to say. He was a summer fling to her, and now he goes telling everyone how much she lies. He's a smart guy-- probably the smartest guy she's ever been with. And, I have a class with him, so I'm glad to know I have someone to talk to about these things.

Before, I didn't care either way what happened between her and these guys, because it made for a fun reality soap opera, but now she is making me upset over this. I am not going to allow myself to be one of those whom she drags along.

Who am I kidding? I will keep giving her second chances... psshh.. bleh.

hmmm...

I've come to this blog quite a few times during my drought of entries, wondering just what to say, but then I am at a loss. Not one novel thought has passed my mind through the past few weeks. What brings me here at last is sheer boredom in the OR.

Last time I volunteered, I was singing along to the radio when Clarence, a Patient Care Tech (PCT), told me to sing louder. So, I am back, two weeks later, and word gets around among the PCTs that I have a voice. So, all the male itim Patient Care Techs are requesting songs from me. I feel weird singing in the OR, but whatever...

I had a test this past monday in Statics, and it was a joke of a test. 3 questions, 2 hours, very easy. I wish I had studied more so that I could have been more competent in answering them. The bakla girl that I normal sit with was out of there in 30 minutes. I took an 90 minutes. I know I missed one part of the question, but I'm still pretty confident that I faired at least a B. As for Bio, I had a test two weeks ago, and I got a B in that one too. I think I should start being more focused on those two courses, since they are the only important things in my life right now.

Oh no!

I can't believe the Spurs lost Game 3!!!!!! I'm going to have a breakdown.

Okay, so I haven't written for a while. Here's the updates with me. I got a bad grade in Thermo. It's the type of bad where you want to just run into a wall and hope to never recover. But, I made a B in Physics 2, which is extremely good. But, I made a B in Bio, my own major-- very bad. Anyway, I ended up making Bs all the way through (excepting Thermo). The GPA fell another tenth of a point, i think... Not good. New Apartment: I am loving my new room and my HBO/Showtime channels! I watched Emma this morning. =) Come to think of it, I've been watching way too much TV lately. Lastly: Summer semester classes are bio and statics. Both seem pretty good so far, but then again, I've only been to one class.

Okay, I'm going to drown my post-Spurs game loss sorrows into my statics book. Goodnight!

bye bye spring 2004 semester

How do you take your mind off the worst test you've ever taken? I did so horribly for that test-- SO SO HORRIBLY. I haven't been able to take my mind off of Kayla for the past few days-- should I have mentioned that? I hate using other people as my excuse for anything, but the thought of Kayla and her cancer really distracted me from everything else.

I wish I could be like that Jim Carrey character in that "Eternal Sunshine" movie and erase this thermo test from my brain. And, I might as well throw in the trash can all my hopes of getting into Med school. =/

Pensacola Junior College, here I come. It's not too late to become a beautician, is it??

Hopes

It's funny what people plan when they think they have forever. I have ridiculously high hopes that span decades-- but that's just me. Maybe if I'm bored one day, I'll map it out on the blog, but this is about Kayla's plans.

Kayla was on AIM today, so I chatted with her. I didn't come out and ask the obvious, but it turns out that she doesn't know about her terminal illness. I guess her parents want her to enjoy the rest of the school year. Ignorance is bliss, they say. I'd hate to see what happens once they tell her the news.

We chatted away about normal stuff. She's graduating in May, and they're going to throw a big party for little miss Valedictorian. She's stressing over finals. She's going to Six Flags Theme Park. She is not happy that she has to wear a uniform at her private high school. You know, normal stuff. In a few weeks when all is revealed, what would these plans be? I'm afraid to find out.

It just kills me each time I think about the answer. She's too young to be thinking about her own death. She's too innocent to stop hoping for an adult life, where she has a stable career and a good husband and children of her own. She had so much opportunities for her, but the cancer in her body is going to ravage her health, and it's going to make her wish things that a thirteen year-old shouldn't even contemplate. They say tragedy brings people together, and maybe our Filipino community in SA was growing apart, but why something so drastic happening to someone so pure?

too young

I've known Kayla since the day she was born. Her brother is godchild to my father, so I'm kinda her godsister. But to be honest, I've lived so far away and hardly had any contact with her that I could call us close. But, back in the days when I still called myself "San Antonian," I would see her once a week. Her family threw alot of parties at their house, so we'd all hang out.

Kayla is four or five years younger than I am. I was the old one of the whole group (our Filipino group)-- I was about two years older than the other kids I played with. Kayla was in the same sort of predicament-- she did not have kids of her age to play with. I tried including her in some of our activities (the old kids' group), but she turned to hanging out with the younger kids. Mind you, the younger kids were born in '94. I'm sure it was frustrating for her to be left out of our activities, and I tried to include her in everything we did, but the other girls would complain that she was a tagalong or something. I made this plea to Kristine, my best friend, before I left SA in '99. "Please make Kayla cool."

Kayla was born to an unemployed father and an overworked mother. She never had the chance to go on family outings or family vacations because of her parents' situations. I'm sure she realized her economic situation early, because she is a smart girl, and maybe that was the reason she was so introverted when it came to the rest of us. We became so materialistic (the girls in our Filipino group). When I went to an SA party last December, all of us had a designer purse and cellphones. Kayla, who was in the middle of her 8th grade year, was playing with the elementary schoolers. So much for my plea.

Also, when I was in SA, My family took out Tito Boy and his kids and Tito Gil and his kids to dinner at the Marriot. Kayla, daughter to the latter Tito, hardly ate a thing. She didn't seem okay to me, and I guess that's because she hardly kept a conversation with anyone. I tried talking to her about her brother and school, but her responses were very brief, so I stopped asking questions.

Yesterday, the proverbial bomb dropped on Tita Gil, Tita Juliet, and Kevin (her father, mother, and older brother). Kayla has had a bony mass in her ribs, which they've known about for a while. Kayla became concerned when she watched a program about cancer, and so this past week they went to the doctor, and a biopsy was taken to see what the mass could be. The results: Osteosarcoma, which has metastasized throughout the rest of her body. Within five minutes of this news, they had to weigh her options with chemo and surgery.

Someone in my school also had a bone marrow cancer. He was in remission, but then the cancer came back and chemo was not enough to treat him the second time around. He died in my senior year. Suffice to say, my thoughts of her survival have not been positive.

A few moments of procrastination before gettin' down and dirty w ith physics

I only begin to notice how much I really want to change the layout of my blog right before I have to start studying, and changing my blog beats out the fundamentals of electromagnetism any day. It's most likely because I start perusing other people's blogs and realize that mine is very plain. Not like anyone reads it though =p

I bought a no-name brand packet of caffeine pills, because I anticipate sleeping very little over the next 36 hours. $1.29-- not a bad deal. I'm afraid to open it, though. I hope nothing bad happens!!

Spurs: last night's win vs. Memphis was too close for comfort. Next time, win by 20, not by 3.

Lastly: it cost me $24 for gas! Outrageous!! Death to the OPEC cartel!!!

Misplaced ambitions

I see so many people these days that don't know what they want to be. People to the left and the right of me are changing majors and altering childhood dreams because they just now realize the difficulty of the path that lies before them. One friend of mine had the goal of becoming a dentist, but soon decided against it when she realized that physics was not an easy course. She has changed her major once already, and is already dissatisfied with her current major. She is committed to a job in the medical field, and she aims high, though she does not quite understand what she is committing herself to until she is at least a semester into her courseload.

She laughs at her friends that resort to lesser-respected degrees, yet she is headed in the same direction. As for me, I try to encourage personal growth in any shape or form, and if a demanding degree inhibits you, then let it go. Know yourself before you choose your major-- that's the best advice I could give an incoming college student. Some people prefer practicallity of a degree over the learning experience, while others want a deeper their understanding of a subject rather than monetary gain. Personally, I admire those who choose the latter path, because thes are the people who will survive-- more so than those who rationalize their educational track-- because they will excel in whatever they choose, and they will satisfied knowing that they are doing what they love.

Here's what I figure about myself:

I love challenges, and I love helping people.

I face complex and stressful situations with a smile on my face and the thought that once everything is over, I will still be smiling.

I couldn't live without a song being stuck in my head at any moment in time.

People continually fascinate me, and I like to think that I truly learn a little more about humanity with each person that I encounter, whether it be my professor, my classmate, my roommate, or my busdriver.

I am a show off, and I am unsettled with the thought that there are people who are doing better than I am-- academically, finiancially, etc.

I am on earth to do my own will, and not anyone else's.

I don't quite know if I'm suited for the path I have chosen for myself, but I'm committed to seeing it through to the end.

Eat dinner with roommates-- drama may ensue

We had a farawell dinner tonight at Bonefish Grill (seared ahi tuna-- delish!). One of the ppl that worked there was an acquaintence of mine. We hung out for a few hours (through mutual friend Ginny). What I got out of the experience: his apartment is messy, his name is Donald, and he had a girlfriend with the same name as mine.

Anyway, the only thing that really stuck to my memory at dinner was his messy apartment, and his name rhymed w/ onald (was it Donald, or Ronald???) I only recognized him when he came around the table. He started up a convo w/ me (and then I found out his name was Donald, again); the roommates became excited w/ the prospect of a male talking w/ me. So excited that they gave him my phone #.

I have no opinion insofar concerning Donald, other than he's got a messy apartment, but I'm afraid now of these Korean people. Donald is Korean (forgot to mention that before) and I met him in Ginny's church Bible study (also Justin's). It was fairly easy to interpret Brigette's and Adriane's intentions to handing out my phone #, but what if those intentions are mistaken as my own, and what happens if people find out that my roommates wanted to pick him up for me?? I can only imagine the stares I would get from the Korean ppl. I didn't do anything, I promise!!!! I don't intend on anything between Donald and myself, and I respect his relationship w/ Amy too much to interfere (although Brigette seems to think that he was a bit too eager to get that #-- then again, we can't really trust Brigette's judgement when it comes to guys). What have my roommates gotten me into? What made them think they could take it upon themselves to hook me up with random people? I don't need a boyfriend or male attention to make me happy!-- they can't get that through their boy-obsessed skulls.

I have this fear now that I'll be castrated from the Korean ppl. =(

Other than that...

I am the proud owner of a sparkly hulahoop, muchas gracias Frankie, el novio de Brigette.
If I weren't taking allergy medication, I'd probably be sneezing it up from the Spurs Sweeping Grizzlies (Ahhh-CHoooo!)
I'm officially a gmail-ed! email me at missdiego@gmail.com! ^_^

Love songs...

Probably the only real reason that I would want a boyfriend right now is so that I can sing love songs with a person in mind. Even the ones about heartache-- I want a boyfriend whom I will love despite his leaving me for my best friend... or something like that. Love songs and songs of heartache are just so pretty, and I have no one to sing about, or someone to sing to me. Or!-- we can do a duet, like Aladdin and Princess Jasmine sang

A Whole New World

But, what I would love the most is if a guy would sing me those classic songs like

on the street where you live

or

til there was you

I would feel like

the luckiest girl in the world

if I could have a guy sing songs like that. I love old-time love songs because they just seem more sincere and pure-intentioned than these songs today.

There was love all around, but I never heard it singing.
No I never heard it at all, 'til there was you.

William Hung: Asian-American triumph or travesty?

My family has a little Yahoo Group, and my extremely liberally-minded cousin posted this link:

http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0414/ng.php

I'll spare you the extra reading: the link explains how William Hung is a setback to Asian acceptance in White America. I do see the points made in the article-- excellent points, may I add-- but I think it all stems back to jealousy. Really, who wouldn't want to be William Hung right now? Being a Star Search Reject myself, I would gladly take his place with his CD and tons of adoring fans. And, he has such a great attitude. Sure, it's a stereotypical Asian attitude that many want to distance themselves from (and rightly so, because if people think you're too obliging, they'll walk all over you), but let's not just see this as a setback for Asian people. Why can't we see this as a rare reward for humility, perseverence, and gratitude? This man, who is butt ugly and can't sing a note to save his own life, gave his all in that performance, despite negative feedback. He is the epitome of everything un-American Idol, and his Inspiration is now topping charts. Admittedly, he probably wouldn't have faired well at all had Simon Cowell told him to just go away rather than to give his trademark speech, "You are the worst singer I've heard in all the world...."

And okay, so he is Asian. So are Jackie Chan and Yao Ming. We don't rag on them for being stereotypical. We don't tell Jackie Chan to stop doing his kung fu/karate movies because it makes out all Asians to know the martial arts-- most Asian Americans would label Jackie Chan as their favorite actor. We don't tell Yao Ming to retaliate on Shaq's continual racist attacks of "Ching chong wing wang mu shu"-- we revere Yao as the better man because he doesn't let himself be held down by petty things. Probably the difference between them and Hung is that they give Asian Americans a tougher image, while Hung is a pansy who likes Ricky Martin songs.

And so Hung didn't retaliate upon rejection as countless other American Idol wannabes had; I think there's distension among the Asian community because he is capitalizing on having no singing talent whatsoever. He was offered a record contract; it's not as if he would say, "no thank you. You can keep your millions of dollars, and I'll continue being a chemical engineer."

Then there are those who blame the system who built him up like this. I will nod my head to this, but I also can't help but let out a smirk on how funny the situation is. You can't hate the man for fitting a stereotype to the T, but you can hate the system that paid him a truckload of money to be their little Asian court jester And you can censure people from proliferating the idea that we tried to surpress all these years-- that Asians are more than just grinning, bowing geeks that eat rice all day long. Certainly, the next time I pass by UF's Chemical Engineering building I'll think that those Chinese guys who smoke and chat right outside the building have a William Hung in them, waiting to bust out at the karaoke bar. Okay, I'll stop here for now.

Brrr.... it's so cold!

Florida needs to wise up and realize that it's April. So, why is it fifty degrees right now?! I'm sure Democrats would blame this on President Bush if they could, because they're pinning about everything else on him right now. I'm a very politically minded person, so please excuse any random Republican outbursts from me.

I'm currently sipping on some Slimfast and pigging out on peanuts before my physics class that begins forty minutes past ten (attempting alliteration-- did it work?). But, there is a looming dread hanging over me-- chemistry. I need a B+ desperately in this class, but my unimpressive test results from last night has put extra weight on the final test next saturday. I need to ace the final to ensure a B+.

And now I just received displeasuring news from my teacher's thermodynamics website-- I got a B on my test! True, I had not studied for the test, and I still don't understand concepts, but nevertheless, it's a travesty!!!! I need redemption!!

What do I do now?

Easter Sunday ended Lenten Season for 2004. THe problem now is that I have all this chocolate and candy sweet foods around me that I want to eat all at once. Eating it will most likely increase my waistline, but I have suffered 47 days without anything! I'm hoping that fiber and slimfast can carry me through these difficult times.

Anyway, the binding theme for this weekend was don't plan on a thing and let things happen to you, and surely things happened this weekend. My Ate Anabelle from Chicago called me up and told me that she and the kids were coming down for Spring Break, and that they might drop by on Friday; also, I planned to meet with her at Clearwater on Easter Sunday. But, Good Friday came and went without a phone call from Ate Ana; however, my Ate Beth did call me and tell me to take Ate Ana's words cum granum salis. Ate Beth also received similar notification from Ate Ana, and then Ate Ana never showed up. My father, in addition, told me not to plan anything around Ate Ana since she hardly ever holds her word. And so, I thought nothing more of it, and I found my weekend totally blank.

I then received a surprise phone call from a long lost friend. Ginny called me up and invited me to go to Bible study with her (the same Bible study that studious ssholong Justin attends). I said yes, and she picked me up , and she and her friend John and I all rode the same car to the Korean Baptist Church. A car ride with John was excrutiating. He was obnoxious and complained about most everything. I hate it when people you just met moan and whine about things. My message to those people is: Shut up!-- a person whom you just met thirty seconds ago is not going to care about your problems.

Anyway, this Bible study lasted about 4 hours long! It was fun, and i did win a prize for participating in a skit about one of Jesus' miracles (feeding 2000 with five loaves of bread and two fish). I was a hungry Filipino FOB working a flea market, and Jesus was the Chinese man from Mad TV. I was using my sparse Tagalog vocabulary to the best of my abilities ("aaaah, gutom nako, I'm so hungry.... sakit ni estomago ko, my stomach aches!") but then I think it didn't translate too well with the Korean crowd. But, whatever. The prize will be awarded to me at the next Bible study. So, now I know how they work-- they try to bribe newcomers into coming back. AHA! =P

After the skit thing, we sat around a bonfire for 45 minutes or so and talked about how great God is. For the most part, I was staring at the fire flickering about, but I do remember one part of what they had talked about. "We want to be LOGs-- Lovers Of God. Like these logs in the fire, they are worthless, but when the fire of God fills them, then they are useful." I could have come up with something more profound than that; I hate faulty metaphors. Firstly, logs are not useless-- if they were, then lumber companies would be nonexistant. Log cabins provided shelter for settlers and Abraham Lincoln; logs provide wood for tables, chairs, other furniture; a raft made of logs helped Gilligan and his pals get off that durn island (same with Tom Hanks and his volleyball buddy Wilson); Jesus was nailed on two logs bound in with string. Logs are no more useless than the ocean is. And, I don't see the act of burning logs as particularly useful. For a time, you are provided warmth, but after that the log is no longer useful at all-- it's becomes ash that you have to sweep up. It is a waste of energy-- the heat produced from its burning is mostly lost into the atmosphere, and the carbon dioxide given off only contributes to global warming. Instead--- our lives are like logs. We can chose to make something beautiful and meaningful, or something useful and beneficial, or something powerful and destructive, or we can chuck it in the woodchipper-- our choice. God granted us the ability to do what we want, and we should remember that. I thought of all this while watching the flames dance around the superheated logs.

Ginny and I had a late dinner at McDonalds, in which we had a meaningful discussion about boyfriends. She was very inquisitive of my current situation, and she asked certain questions that made me wonder of her intent with my answers. But anyway, we went to University Commons afterwards and played pool, and then we went to her friend's apartment and watched Matrix 3-- whatever its title was. That was a loooooong movie, and at 2 in the morning, I was not particularly willing to understand it.

Saturday started off slowly. I cleaned my room and took a shower, and Ate Ana calls me up and tells me that she's 20 minutes from Gainesville, and after the phonecall, I was extremely pleased with the luck of my room being clean and my smelling sweet, especially for all the hugs I had given within the first twenty minutes of their arrival. She invited me to Clearwater, and I said, "YES!"

We spent much of Sunday in the car, in traffic, on the road, and so on and so on. The beach was cold and dreary, and then it turned to rainy, cold, and dreary. We went to Orlando that very night, and that was another long drive. We met up with Ate Ana's half bro Joe, and he treated us to an extremely late dinner at TGI Friday's. Good stuff, Great times!

I got up and drove back to Gainesville at 7:30, after I had told everyone the night before that I would be waking up at 3:30 and leaving then. I made it back to Gainesville at 9. I went to class at 10:40, and I never felt more confused in my life. What contributed to my worn-out brain was that I arrived an hour into my class. Whoops! Luckily, I will be able to drop the grade from today's lab because we're allowed one drop grade.

And one last piece of physics news: I made a 6 on my Test! whoooo hooo!!!! Some other stupid kids cheated on the test. I've seen this happen before my very eyes, so I'm wondering if I should report these people or what. I won't get anything out of it, but I love reporting people on these things.

Monday Reflection

My Observations: people going to and from classes, the sun shining like it had never shone before, and everyone wearing sweaters because of the cold front that came in last night. Everything is normal-- nothing extraordinary about today.

Good Friday is only a few days away. Sometimes, when I look up into the sky, which was probably just as blue on the last Monday before his execution, I wonder what Jesus must have thought as he was walking around, knowing that by the end of the week he would die. And not just die, but have the whole world practically foresake Him and make a spectacle of his crucifixion. How could He walk around Monday, among the normalcy of that day, without the imminence of his death affecting him? How could he still dine with the disciples whom he knew would let him down? How could he still preach God's Word to the people who would later chant "Crucify HIM!" to Pilate? And, how could he remain loyal to a God who fated Him to die for the sins of the entire world?

The thought of His love and devotion makes me feel so unworthy of everything He bestowed. And, as much as I keep having these revalations on the strength of His love, I still do my will rather than God's. I do what I want, and I knowingly sin. I have faith in God and Jesus and the Word, but sometimes I take the perspective of a world without an eternal paradise after death. And then, I wonder if I believe in God because it's easier to believe in Him after all these years rather than to dismiss my Christianity. I do not deserve any of His love not just because I sin, but because I entertain the notion that God does not exist.

Daylight Savings Time screwed with my schedule!

I should be doing homework right now, but whatever:

Let's Call You a Silver Digger:You don't weigh a man's appeal only on his income but you've never been known to turn down a free dinner. does this make you sleezy? Not at all! Just make sure not to miss out on your dream guy... Income brackets can change

You Are A Professional Girlfriend: You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise! Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro. If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you. You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy.

Considering I've never been a girlfriend before (and most likely will not be for a long while), that is extremely depressing news to me. But Silver Digger... that's funny. =)

What a cowinkydink

Finally lent has ended!! However, Holy Week has begun, so much more fasting. I did treat myself to cookies and chocolate and ice cream-- all very yummy. =) Anyway, today is Palm Sunday, and in church today they handed out palms and the Gospel today covered Luke's rendition of Christ's Passion. But before I continue, I'm going to backtrack to Friday's events, and then explain what happened today.

Justin invited me to go to his Korean Baptist Church's Bible Study on Friday night, and I asked Mary to tagalong. When we got there, we sang about 5 contemporary worship songs (complete with a guitar, drumset, and lots of handclapping), and the speaker tried to convince us that adult (not infant) baptism was the only real baptism, "although I don't mean to offend anyone of different religions, and I don't mean to get every one to be baptized again." He had me question Catholic tradition for a bit, but then I did my own little Bible research and remain unconvinced, and I still intend on baptizing my future children when they are babies. =)

Yesterday, my Dad called me concerning my new goddaughter Carmen Rose and her Christening (I'm sure the Baptists reading this are rolling their eyes right about now). The date will be sometime in August (she'll be 6 months old by then, I think), and I am just too excited for words! I hope that there are no terrorrists on my plane from Orlando to Oregon. That would suck. Then again, why would a terrorrist be on a plane to Oregon?

And today during mass, they talked about children being baptized. Also we sang a song and started clapping along to the beat, and Mary, who was sitting beside me in the pew, looked at me in exasperation. "It's just like Friday night," she said exasperatingly. I happen to like the word exasperate, and I hope to use it in every possible form. exasperated, exasperatable, exasperating, exasperator.... okay, back to the subject. She was annoyed in the fed up sort of way. I wonder what sign God is sending to me with all this Baptism and handclapping stuff.

A world of idiots and jerks

There are two types of people: idiots and jerks. Idiots are those who are too trusting, and jerks are those who take advantage of idiots. One is ignorant to human nature, and the other is ignorant to human feelings.

Last night, Veldana, Safiye, Nasim, and I all went to a party of one of Veldana's closest friends, Nina. We left our coats and purses in her bedroom, and we partied in the living room. The party was hoppin'. I spent half of my time there being sandwiched between two hot Argentinian basketball players, grinding and all that. You know, good clean fun =) But, we were idiots: Veldana, Safiye, Nasim, and I.

Nina's room had a bathroom, and people would pass through her room to get to the bathroom. We don't know when the room was left unattended, but someone entered, saw the unattended purses, and took Vel's and Nasim's, and then he opened Safiye's purse and removed her wallet and keys. Luckily, I had concealed my purse under my jacket. If it had been stolen, that would have been my cell phone, my dorm keys, my $300 bebe designer prescription glasses, and my credit card. I was extremely fortunate that night, but I still couldn't help but feel horrible for my not-so-lucky friends. The feeling of getting their things stolen was overshadowed with the feeling of having to tell their parents what happened.

I have seen this sort of thing happen before, but I just keep being careless with my things. Idiots make themselves vulnerable for these situations that are totally avoidable and unnecessary. I don't know if I'll completely change from this experience, but I'll be more cautious. I don't want to be the idiot anymore.

a tale of two parking tickets

Yesterday night I had to take a thermo test, and I redefined the term "to pass with flying colors." I don't know if the test was graded yet, and I don't mean to sound cocky, but I definitely spanked that bad boy. Well, I hope my grade reflets my confidence right now.

I got home, and as predicted, there were no parking spaces. Brigette, who was talking outside with her friend Will, told me to park across the street, in front of the Post Office, right next to her car. "It's visitor's parking; you can't get a ticket there." Famous Last Words.

I went down to my car the next day to take a trip to the grocery store, and I see the notorious yellow envelope on my windshield. I look to the car on my right-- Brigette's car-- and I see the same yellow envelope there too. Well, apparently they DO ticket visitor parking.

Brigette says we'll lie our way out, stating our ex-roommate situation as the reason we parked across the street. I don't understand it, really. I think I should just contest it, tell the person: "Look, I've never gotten a ticket before, and I parked across the street because it was not marked with any particular decal parking. Sorry."