The Nice Girl and the Jerk

Yesterday around 10pm, after Yayyi finished working out, he called me up. We were supposed to play tennis around 10:30 or so, which I was looking forward to. When he called, he sounded out of sorts, and the fact that he even said he wasn't feeling like doing anything should have been a signal for me, but I didn't back down. I wanted to play tennis, and he, being a man of his word, did not even try to persuade me.

So, we played at the courts at his apartment. They were unkept, to say the least. The lighting was bad, and we were using dead balls. Yayyi was not happy, and not only did that kill my mood for tennis, but he was also hitting his balls extra hard. So many times I suggested we not play, but he said we should continue, and despite that he would still complain about the courts and the balls. So, that was the beginning of my bad mood.

Then we went back to his apartment, and we chilled for a bit. While we were talking, he said, "I've never seen you angry. I want to see you get angry."

From that I should have known that he would be trying my temper. I hate when people play games like that, and Yayyi is no exception.

Later, he started wrestling me. I know how to use my strength, but I wouldn't think to use it on people. And then his wrestling started hurting me. He did not relent until I pushed him away with all my force. And then he didn't understand why I was upset.

I remained quiet, and he started trying to joke around. He had the audacity to ask me why I wasn't smiling or talking to him.

"If you spent the past half hour playing tennis with an asshole and then are physically assaulted by said asshole, would you be smiling?"

That's what I wanted to say, but a wise rabbit once said that if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. Thumper, from Bambi. Great movie. Makes me cry every time.

He then he started apologizing, and then he said something that completely caught me off-guard.

"You're one of the nicest girls I've ever met, and it scares me and I don't know how to deal with that."

Of course I was still angry after that. He deliberately tried me and wanted to see if I could get angry. Just call up Ronnie Hicks and ask him how angry I can get. He'd tell you how I snapped in the school playground and started kicking his shins until they were black and blue.

But, I was tempted to just get up and leave, but frankly I was interested to see what else he had to say. He continued apologizing, and of course I was inclined to forgive him. To be honest, I forgave him after his first "I'm sorry," but I was still too angry to talk to him.

And so the story goes. There is a happy ending: the making-up process was very enjoyable. =) Then, he was very reluctant to part with me when he walked me to the car. What a punk.

Epilogue: I drove all around Gainesville to three different Oriental stores just to get him this certain Chinese snack he loves. Then, I dropped it off with his roommate, telling him to only give it to Yayyi once I was gone. I'm such a retard.

Babysitting Tavora

Boystealer has a friend who was sixteen years old when she was raped and impregnated by her grandfather, and nine months later Tavora was born. This past Friday marked Tavora's 5th birthday, and yesterday Boystealer had a get-together to celebrate.

Having spent half the day with her, I by no means can claim to know how to raise her, but I am more than disgusted of the way she has been brought up thus far. She drinks soda and sugary flavored drinks more than she does water, she knows curse words, and yesterday while I was tucking her into bed she explained to me what going from behind was.

"I show my butt cheeks to my boyfriend and he puts his tail in it."
"Where is your boyfriend's tail?" I asked, hoping she wasn't referring to a penis.
She giggles as she's jumping on my bed, and she points at her crotch.

A five-year old said this.

I read her a bedtime story in my Children's Bible (which I happened to have because I was going to mail it out to my goddaughter) and the story I read her was about Adam and Eve. She did not know that story, but she knows doggie-style.

I do have sympathy for her mother. I couldn't fathom the strength she has, but there is no excuse for any five year old to know sex acts. I know that she fabricates stories, so I am not concerned of any pedophilic acts performed on her, but it is still disturbing.

Otherwise, she is a sweet hyperactive child who wants to learn everything. She loves looking at photographs and listening to stories, and she enjoys painting, banging on the piano, playing in bubble baths, and washing dishes. Her interests should be nurtured in a postive way.

Been a while

I went to church today. Arrived a little late and missed the first two readings... but really, church is all about the gospel, homily, and eucharist, right? I know, I know-- I'll get my butt to church on time next week.

Today in the homily Father John introduced the idea that people who most value something worldly have the most to lose, while those who put their faith first will never be at a loss. Worldly things are bound to perish but there is more to be lost when someone loses sight of God, and that is his soul. It is especially difficult today not to get caught up with anything, simply because there are so many distractions. Internet, TV, porn, shopping, celebrities, cars, careers, technology, and the list can go on and on. It is our responsibility now more than ever to shut out the noise and escape from these temptations, for the sake of our very souls.

I must admit that I have recently fallen into a spell of college life. I want to go out. I want the "college experience" that will be forever lost to me once I graduate and have to get a job. I never really had a full high school experience, and I don't want to say the same for my time here at UF. I finally got a boyfriend-- my first one ever-- and I am doing my best not to be caught up with this boy, but it is hard not to. When i first started seeing him, I remember going to church alot that week. I know God would not give me anything more than I can handle, but I can't decide whether my relationship with him is a one of God's gifts or a temptation straight from the Devil. Whatever it may be, it is a test of my fortitude. I cannot lose myself in any "moments," no matter how natural they are.

I've always wondered how I would respond under situations where my virtue is tested. I don't think having a boyfriend has changed me, for better or for worse, but rather it has revealed to me who I've been all along. I am happy to say that I have not become a hypocrite to anything I believe, and I know now that I won't just fall victim to physical passions. Well, it hasn't been long that I've been tested, and I still have a long way to go, so I hope in days to come I don't abandon my faith and lose myself.

1-800-Flowers

I've been in my first official relationship for about 4 days now, and we've been seeing each other since the 17th of June. He just left for Prague yesterday because his cousin is getting married, and I'm left alone for about 9 days or so.

You know those moments you just want to encapsule in time and in memory forever and ever? One of those moments that just hits you as too good to be reality? I haven't blogged in a while, and I've had such blog-worthy words to type out but have been neglecting it on account of too much to say and not enough time to say it, but this is something I just have to put to words right now as I am sitting here at my computer.

I've been in my apartment all day long, practically. It was around 7pm, and I was about to take a shower, and i heared knocking on my door. I thought it was B with some drama... again... So I jump out of the shower and put on my robe.

Turns out it wasn't B. It was someone knocking at the front door. I peer through the little hole, wondering who the heck got me getting out of my shower, and there's someone with a package at the door. I open the door, and what do you know? He's asking for me. 1-800-Flowers was delivering me a package. I sign for the package as best I could without flashing the delivery guy, and I take the package in.

FLOWERS! I've never gotten flowers before. Well, I've gotten flowers from my parents before... but this is way different. I just want to jump around and show off the flowers to the world, but who to tell? I want to wait a while before telling my parents and see if this thing works out. I can't just IM people and say "I got flowers from him!" I don't want to sound like I'm bragging. I'm truly happy for this moment, and I don't want people messing it up with cynical analyses or anything else. Why can't I share my happiness with other people?

I told my roommate the minute she walked through that door. She loves flowers, and she's been waiting so long to see me with a boyfriend. And once I told her, she had the nerve to shake her head and say, "and how long have you known him for?"

She couldn't even be happy with me. And I could go on for longer about how I've been so supportive and gave so much of my input into all her boyfriends and flings, but that would draw away from this moment-- the first time I ever got flowers from an admirer. Her cynicism can't touch me right now, and I won't ever let it.

It's been about a month that I've gotten to know him. We see each other practically every day in lab. We hang out, grab lunches, play sports, cook each other dinner, go clubbing... and we talk to each other. We talk without restriction or restraint-- he's told me about his life, his experiences, and I've told him about mine. We are just honest with each other. Maybe it's only been one month that I've gotten to know him, but I know him better in one month than I've gotten to know people I've known for years, and I don't find that scary or too fast. The flowers are a gesture of appreciation, and I've never felt more flattered, and I'm not gonna read any more into it. I'm just gonna sit back, enjoy my flowers, and get to studying for that test.