I hab a stuppy dose

I was so proud that I had gone through the year without getting a cold. Sure, I sneezed alot this year, but that was allergies (dirt, dust, pollen, animals, flowers). And, my mom gets on my back every five seconds about taking echinacea and vitamin C. grrr.... not happy.

Anyway, I finally did work in the house today. Just a spoonful of tequila makes all the difference: Kristine and I had fun with my pa's stash. Man, I was getting drunk off a tablespoon, forreal. What a wimp, right?

Then, we helped with dusting (ahhchoooo!) and Kristine, Jerome, and I got to go on the top of the roof! It was such a great view, but it was so scary to look down.

I failed my Personality Test...

Advanced Big Five Personality Test Results

Sociability	||||||||||||||||	62%
Gregariousness	||||||||||||||||||	78%
Assertiveness	||||||||||||||||||	78%
Activity Level	||||||||||||	46%
Excitement-Seeking	||||||||||||	50%
Cheerfulness	||||||||||||||||||	74%
Extroversion	||||||||||||||||	64%
Trust	||||||||||||||||||||	86%
Morality	||||||||||||||||||	74%
Altruism	||||||||||||||	54%
Cooperation	||||||||||||||||	62%
Modesty	||||	18%
Sympathy	||||||||||||||||	66%
Friendliness	||||||||||||||	60%
Self-Efficacy	||||||||||||||||||||	82%
Neatness	||||||||||||||	58%
Dutifulness	||||||||||||||||||||	82%
Achievement	||||||||||||||||||	74%
Self-Discipline	||||||||||||||||	62%
Cautiousness	||||||||||||||	58%
Orderliness	||||||||||||||||	69%
Anxiety	||||||||||	38%
Anger	||||||||||||||||	66%
Depression	||||||	22%
Self-Consciousness	||||||||||||||	58%
Immoderation	||||||||||||	42%
Vulnerability	||||||||||	38%
Emotional Stability	||||||||||||||	56%
Imagination	||||||||||||||||	70%
Artistic Interests	||||||||||||||||||||	86%
Emotionality	||||||||||||||||||||	86%
Adventurousness	||||||||||||||	58%
Intellect	||||||||||||||||	70%
Liberalism	||||||	26%
Openmindedness	||||||||||||||||	66%

Take Free Advanced Big 5 Personality Test

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Opening presents is such a wasteful event. You buy the gift, and on top of that you buy the giftwrap. After laborious hours of wrapping up one hundred or so presents (if your lucky to have so many friends and family), they spend 10 seconds ripping your craftiwork apart. The ripped wrapping paper is discarded on the floor (which you have to pick up later). Yeah, Merry Christmas.

Other than that momentary bitterness, I'm quite satisfied this Christmas. But, what finds me at the computer and not with family or friends? There's nothing to do at the moment, and I have a few things with which to reflect. The thing is, I haven't opened my presents yet. Opening presents doesn't seem as imperative as it once was in my younger years-- I've noticed this on the zenith of my own teen-hood. What is important is being around people who love you and want to share in your happiness. I already have that: I don't need to open presents to feel happy. And really, opening presents isn't meant to be a thing you do alone-- it's something you share with your family. My sister opened her presents earlier, and I don't blame her. She should have that fun, but I wish she could have waited until the family was together and able to share in the joy. She didn't have that luxury.

The Christmas party last night. I was so amazed to really sit down and see everyone once again. I still think of these people from five years ago, and so much has changed. Kids that were babies when I left are now in grade school. My crew, who was still in middle school when i left, are set to graduate high school and go to college. They talk about typical things that overly-hormonal teenagers talk about-- gettin' it on with girlfriends/boyfriends, and turning every unassuming word into a sexual euphemism. I guess I'm not as into all that as everyone else is, but I also feel like I didn't really miss out on anything, and I have no qualms in saying that my mother's stringence got me through unscathed. But, you'd find me hardpressed to admit that to her!

if you're happy and you know it, form your hands into fists and raise them as high as you can

This is Gregg Popovich. Gregg Popovich is the coach of the San Antonio Spurs. He's happy because the Spurs are on an 11 game winning streak. I'm happy that he's happy. =)

A Christmastime Contrition, and a cold

Rather than going to a church, I shall make my confessions here.

I stole a pluffy beanie baby at borders today.
I bought candy with money that wasn't mine.
I spoke ill of my benefactors.
I spoke ill of my elders.
I set a bad example for others.

I don't expect absolution, but I feel horrible about what I did, especially with it being so close to Christ's birthday.

So, I am definitely coming down with a cold. Those of you with weak stomachs and a distaste for bodily fluids should definitely skip this paragraph. I've been having a runny nose all day, and it's horrible, especially when wrapping other people's presents. They don't want you wrapping with the knowledge that your hands came in contact with your snot. But, you don't want the people to see your runny nose. So, I'm at a quandry as to whether to blow my nose or not, and all the while I'm sniffing it all back up.

I'm supposed to be going to a party now, but I am ready to pass out. bleehhhhh

the papercut memoir

"Please donate for the Filipino women's scholarship fund." Kristine and I just spent 12 hours at Borders wrapping presents for rich people. You'd be amazed at the kind of people who shop at Borders. They're mostly rich or sophisticated people. But, lots of the people I encountered were not quite sophisticated... for the most part, these people drove us mad. There was one lady who paid us $5 to wrap 7 of the same books, and she went on incessantly about what she should buy as presents for other people. Considering most other people gave us $2 to wrap one gift, we were pissed off about that. In short, we'd have paid $5 to have avoided her altogether. Another man went on talking about his wild days roaming the country and selling tee shirts, and how he now travels to exotic places and checks on their child labor policy there. The last guy we wrapped presents for was really nice, and he gave us $10. hooray for generous people!

We raised $300, which I think is quite amazing for just wrapping presents. I better get a share of that money, for all the wrapping and papercuts that I got.

So, my condition (steatopygea-- google it up) attracted many guys today-- typically the ghetto igots. Kristine and I went over to Malik Rose's restaurant, and his cousin (as he claims) gave me his (his own, not malik's) number. ^_^ GOOD TIMES.

Cool Matt

For the first time I chatted with Mateo. He is really such a sweetheart, and it makes me wonder what Kristine did to deserve him! ::just kidding. please don't take back the Christmas present:: Matt is great-- he writes beautiful poetry and he totally adores Kristine. And, Kristine is bending over backwards for this relationship to work. She must really care for Matt to be doing all this. Isn't love grand?

Good day, officer. What seems to be the trouble?

There I was, driving happily along i-75, and a big truck is in front of me. I, being deathly terrified of trucks (thank in part to final destination), crossed to another lane to pass it. Behind me was a dark green car. It flicked its lights at me, wanting me to go back, but I was stupid. I did not move to the other lane. I sped up. I passed the scary big truck. I got pulled over. I was going 87 in a 70. Go figure.

The only thing I really regret was getting caught, but I was pretty stupid. And the whole time I was just asking for it. I found my driver's license, which happened to be in my car the entire time, so I was driving legally, but i didn't know it. Now, that's irony. I was driving more cautiously without the liscence because i was afraid of getting caught, and since i had it, I guess I made the mistake of not caring if I got caught or not. But, a $149 mistake? Definitely something that I won't tell the rents about.

Anyway, Orlando was awesome! Hanging with Mary and Leah in Epcot was definitely theraputic. Mission Space was incredible, and being in the audience for Candlelight was simply amazing!

Now I'm in SA. Seeing the old house was reminiscent. I love that house, and if I had all the money in the world, I'd make it the cutest little house. But, I'm a poor college student: -$149 poorer.

Now, about academics, since I'm sure everyone wants to know how that turned out. I did spectacularly on my physics exam, after studing for 15 hours! I was the last one to finish in the classroom, so as I was turning the exam in to the professor, he asked me in his thick accent what I thought about the exam. I told him it was easier than I expected. He said that that was the way he wanted it.

In Social Dance, Caserta said that only one group counted on time with the music. That was definitely our group! Hahaha... yes! So, I got an A in that class.

Let's see, here's my anticipated final grades: Physics- B; Physics Lab- B+; Calculus- B; Bio Engineering Design- A; Intro to Bio Engineering- B+ or A; Social Dance- A. Hopefully that's now it turns out

In defense of a friend's character

What do you do when you have friends who don't like another friend? There are aspects of the latter friend that verge on vexing, but overall I like that friend, and that friend is a good companion to me.

What do you do when you have an ex-friend whom everyone likes? This ex-friend is a nice person, but this ex-friend is unaccepting of who I am.

I guess this is where the voice comes in, saying, "If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you follow?" But, it's not as if my friends are idiots plummeting to the ground.

The thing is that the first friend, although possessing a want of maturity and tact, is very genuine and helpful. The ex-friend feigns maturity, ambition, and intelligence. All I want from my friends is to be honest with me. I respect honesty, and I hate FAKENESS.

take away Saddam Hussein's authority and power, his razor, and his deoderant, and he is still a wiseass emm eff-er

I love watching CNN right now-- it's media frenzy at its best! They even had this reporter crawl into the actual hole Saddam was in the past few days, and he looked stuck in there. Next thing you know, they'll start growing beards as long as Saddam's to know how long he had gone without a shave.

Wolf Blitzer had all these great guests around lunch time today. One had formerly met Saddam back in '94, one was in Iraq, and the other was an analyst. I wonder where all these guests of his come from, and how he gets them on there so quickly. You think that important people like that would already have things planned around lunchtime, but then again, you don't always get a call from someone like Wolf Blitzer asking for an interview on national television. I hope Saddam is executed in the worst possible way.

President Bush is now my newest hero. Lots of people believe that Prez. Bush declared this war for fat rich white guys rather than the Iraqis. It may be true, it may not. It doesn't matter right now. Sure, those white guys may profit, but any way around it, they always make a profit so that's nothing new. Did you happen to watch CNN and look at the look of joy on those Iraqis' faces? Did you see how haggard Saddam looked? A dictator likened to Hitler was brought to his knees this past weekend! Nothing like this would have ever been accomplished in any other president's term.

My first real Tagalog sentence. What do you think??

Nais ang Brigette ng tao sa RI kolehiyo

Mini-holidays = F U N !

I just got back from a little sidetrip to Orlando-- man, what a great time! Hanging with Leah, Chris, and Ayan was so fun! I needed the relaxation.

I got there Friday afternoon, and Leah, Ayan, and I went straight to Tampa to play basketball with Chris. I hadn't played forever, and actually, I wasn't that bad. I made lots of shots, up until I got tired and did not care after that. All the time I was thinking "what would Tim Duncan do?" ^_^

The next day, Leah's family and I went to the flea market. I got a nifty (yet overpriced) bracelet for my lola. My lola believes in that magnets treat arthritis, so she tapes magnets to her wrists. She's so funny. Anyway, the bracelet I got her has magnets in it for her arthritis. One of the vendors said that I looked rich, and he thought the gucci purse was real! what a great compliment ^_^

Then, Leah, Ayan, and I went to Tampa (again). I wrote some of my paper in Chris' place, and then we watched Pirates of the Caribbean and ate pizza. What a wonderful movie! What delicious pizza!

Sunday morning, I went to the Iglesia ni Cristo church and Tito Angel gave a stirring tirade on the pagan rituals of Catholicism. How lovely... Is it just me, or do I sense that all the sermons there seem to be about absolute contrition

Chris came over to orlando, so I finally got to chill with him a bit and got to know him better. He seems to be a really nice guy. Although, I think he and Leah got into that relationship a bit too quickly and a bit too seriously. But, who knows-- it might just work out! For Leah's sake, I hope it does.

Anyway, driving has been scary the past few days for this reason: I can't find my driver's license! I've been driving illegally for the past week now, I guess. I have been looking for it today, but it's not in my purse or anywhere else. Thank God I haven't been caught! Speaking of which, I really need to go to church and confess before Christmas. You know, one of those heathen practices that Catholics do-- that, along with eating flesh and drinking blood and praying to dead people.

I LOVE CALCULUS! I LOVE DR. PARK!!

I made a B in calculus-- just barely! I came to class, and he showed each person how many points they received and their grade for the semester. I received a 320, exactly, out of 400. If you're too lazy to do calculations, I have it for you: 80% Now, I have heavy doubts as to whether I actually made the 320 on my own or not, because a 320 is just too coincidental to be real. In calculating my own grades for the semester before I took my last test, I knew I had absolutely no chance of making a B-- even if I were to make a 100 on the last test. And, my grade was hanging in between a C and D. I made a 99 on the test (!!!!), and I received one extra credit point for guessing his age correctly (40). SO, I would have still made a C.

An additional note: I had a resume due today for Dr. Leary (he is the sweetest man you could ever meet). I thought I had my resume on file with me new computer or in one of my disks, but it turns out that I don't. I could have typed it up yesterday, but instead I watched Devin and Michael shoot arrows at a wheat thins box in the middle of the night (Don't ask).

So, I took my lazy butt over to his office and asked if the resume was due today. He said yes, but, he also said that if it was an inconvenience for me to turn it in today, I could just turn it in tomorrow. I'm telling you, this man is so sweet that he won't tell people to shut up in class when they're talking during someone's lecture.

The moral of this blog: Visiting your Teacher during his office hours truly garners you pity points when it really matters.

I'd like to scream and shout from the top of my lungs "I HATE PARTIAL DERIVATIVES!!!"

I ended up being late for the presentation, which ultimately turned out well anyway. But, i was so late. I woke up late, I couldn't find my ID to catch the bus, and I turned my room upside down searching and searching.... no luck. I went straight to class without finding the ID, and I had to pay fifty cents to get on the bus.

I found my ID later in my jacket pocket.

I showed up late to the calc test, which turned out to be easy. But then again, I thought it was easy last time. Wouldn't it be great if I just bombed it again. But, the best relief for me is that I don't have to do a single calculus equation ever again. That is, until next summer when I'll be taking differential equations.

I showed up late to the hospital, where Dr. Ditto and some other people were getting started with their cardiac imaging. That was the most awesome thing! There was this pig's heart that they recently extracted (from a live pig). It was packed in ice and everything. When they thawed it out and started nourishing it, it was beating! the pig's heart was beating on the table!! Then they hooked up these electrodes to it and made it do all sorts of tricks. Afterwards, they let me play with the heart and cut it up and everything. I was just like a little kid playing with a new toy.

"2, 3, 4..." I don't have to count for the dance presentation tomorrow! "2, 3, 4..." but I have to clap the beats. "2, 3, 4..." My hands are hurting so much. =(

I miss Mr. Duckshoes

A thought just occurred to me: Mr. Webb died on the 3rd of December, a year before last. December 3, 2001. I think it was early Monday or Tuesday morning. It was Tuesday morning, according to my calendar. He was in his early fifties, I think, and he died of a heart attack on our yearly field trip to Disney World. The last thing I remmber him saying to me was, "Carmen, where are you?" Carmen was his nickname for me-- like Carmen San Diego. My mom, who was chaperoning, brought two walkie-talkies with her, and I had the other. Some other girls and I were hiding around the corner, and it was supposed to be time to leave.

Actually, the last thing I remember him saying was how proud he was of our performance, and how well we behaved and knew our parts. And, he was so looking forward to spending time in Disney World the next day. We had performed that night at Epcot for their annual Candlelight Processional. We spent all the semester practicing those songs too. He hardly ever gave compliments, so everyone was so happy when they heard it.

I miss him so much-- words escape me right now. I can't believe I forgot the anniversary of his death. He was the best teacher, to me. He was just so wonderful, and he shouldn't have died so young. He was strict and he would drive us to the limit, but in the end we sang so beautifully. He was able to hear how we could sound at our best, and he believed we were the best. He really held our choir together, and since his passing, the PHS choir has never been the same. He truly was the heart and soul of that department, and PHS never felt the same to me after that.

hindi ko maitindihan (I don't understand)

I have a new guilty pleasure: Tagalog rap. It is the most amusingly annoying thing I've ever heard before. Imagine a FOB rapping like some black thug, and that's exactly how it sounds. And, the more I listen to it, the more and more I love it! Just can't get enough. The worst thing is when it gets stuck in my head. I don't understand Tagalog, so it's so other than remembering a few phrases (mostly intermingled with English), I could not repeat any of it.

I need to learn Tagalog badly. I was talking with Yu-Pei, and she was chastising me on not learning Tagalog. She was saying, "you need to learn the language. Why didn't you want to learn?"

Darn parents and their wanting me and my sis to be as American as possible. Yet, they still want me to follow rules that their parents imposed on them (ie, no dating or foolring around with boys until married). I was raised in one of the most confusing situations possible.

Okay, my astrocenter.com horoscope is worrying me:

It will be as though you're in a new and hopeful world today, dear Scorpio. The people you meet will be cordial and caring, and the future will seem like a bright, attractive place to live. In other words, it's like a fabulous dream, and the alarm clock is bound to wake you up soon. True, the glorious feeling won't last long, so take advantage of the day ahead. Reality is sweet at times.

The hopeful part probably refers to my research appointment at 10:45. The alarm clock, I fear, is my calculus/physics exam or final grade. OH NO.

But wait! I just looked at my astrology.net horoscope, and it uncannily corresponds with the other one:

You don't have to experience bad luck to hear the wake-up call. If anything, you're lucky that fate missed you and dumped its load on someone else. But you see what could have happened. You might be starting to realize that others aren't as reliable as you hoped. Of course, no human is an island, and you still need people. So until you're truly prepared to go off on your own, be more cautious about the allies you choose this time. As you move from one event to the next, try to look at things from a different side

So, the alarm could NOT be a bad exam grade, but something bad is going to happen nevertheless, and probably to someone I know.

I should really stop taking horoscopes seriously.

a ranting

What's the deal with people and online journals? Just perusing through some random ones, and some people just don't deserve the privilege. EsPeCiAlLy If YoU TyPe LyKe DiS AlL tHe TiMe!! And, what's with people intentionally misspelling words? Do you really want people to think you can't spell simple words? Did a horse teach you how to spell? I just don't understand the appeal in it. It seems to take up more time to misspell or type in alternating caps rather than to type simply and correctly the first time. People doing that sort of thing must be truly bored and have nothing better to do. I guess my real distaste in that sort of thing is that I believe the words one uses reflects his thoughts and intelligence. In other words, you do not sound intelligent or serious when yoU r TrYiN 2 gEt YouR mEsSaGe AcRoSs TyPiN lyKe A DuMbAzZ!

Life is finally moving forward-- and I'm moving along with it!

I finally emailed that Biomed engineering professor about getting together and doing research and such, and he was just so nice! And, you know, i probably would not have emailed him if it hadn't been for my horoscope:

Speak your mind clearly, dear Scorpio. Other people aren't mind readers the way you are. If you keep waiting around for someone else to figure out what you are thinking, you may be dead before the truth is ever brought out into the open. Give people a break and let them know what is going on inside your head. Communication is extremely important, and today it begins with you, so feel free to take the first step toward opening up the door.

So, tomorrow I have the major calculus test and major bio engineering design project to do. I'm scared about the test, considering i hadn't studied more than one section. It's 1 am right now.... oh crap. If i have 4 sections more, and an hour spent per section... i'll be done by 4am. exam is at 9:35. Perhaps, I can sleep for 3 hours after studying, or just not sleep at all.

Okay, so before I go burning midnight oil, I just wanted to include one more teeny thing: NO MORE DR. CHAU'S BORING DESIGN CLASS!!! HOORAY!!

okay, that's all.

Outlook: not happy

I feel like I hadn't posted in forever, but it has only been two days. Actually, I haven't posted a real in-depth blog in a while. So much has happened thought, and the past few blogs are not at all reflective of anything pertinent in my life right now.

So, here's the truth:

I am dead tired from doing calculus homework from 11 am to 3 am-- that is 15 or so hours of calculus. However, I am officially caught up with calculus, so that's good.

I am so behind with both bio engineering classes. I have two papers yet to be written, a currently nonexistent resume that needs to be turned in by next Wednesday at 5 pm, and a powerpoint presentation. Let's add to that all the research I have to do for these things, and that's my entire weekend.

Morbid thoughts have just been filling my head lately. The most recent of them being the thought of my lola's death. I am just so worried right now for her. She went to the doctor because she had chest pains and fatigue. The doctor found nothing wrong, but these are undoubtedly precursors to a heart attack. Even though I was dead tired last night, I could not sleep because I was just all wrapped up in the thought of my Lola. At first, I prayed to God that He eases her pain and suffering, and I even know that her soul will be so much happier once she goes to heaven. Then, I started imagining life without her, being unable to hug her again or tell her jokes, or watch the happiness that fills her face when i sing or play the piano for her, and I started crying. Even now, typing all this, tears are streaming down my cheeks. Amidst my tears, I found myself pleading with God to keep her here at least ten more years. I want her to see me graduate and get married, and I want her to see her great-grandchildren.

I know it's selfish for me to ask this, but I can't help it. I wish we had the security of living forever, because I then wouldn't have to worry about the possibility of losing the people I love. And, I don't know that I can be assured where they go from death. I don't even know where I'd be headed. And, I want so much to believe that there will be a happy reunion in heaven when everything is over, but the thought of death itself is scary. Death takes you away from everyone and everything you know and are used to. Death leaves you without a future or free will, and you, and you're forever confined to what people remember of you. Why does fate have to be so uncompromising?

Right now I want someone to tell me that my Lola will be okay. I want someone to assure to me that I will see her next year.

Please, let's just get along!

Tonight we had a dance meeting at the Florida Gym. Tonight must have been "hate the music group" night, because I certainly felt it. The choreographers... well, let's just say that they think they're running everything, and I'm sick and tired of everyone being at odds with each other. Everyone has the common goal of getting this to work, so why are we all at each other's throats?

God answers prayers, He truly does. Today I find out that there is major Extra credit opportunities in Calculus. =) The only thing is now I gotta do so much homework. I might even make a B, if I try really really hard, so I'm happy about that. (High school Amanda would not approve of this, but what does she know?)

A guest speaker came for Biomed Engineering. That was the best lecturer Dr. Leary had brought in. That and the one who talked about Packaging. I am considering doing Biomed Engineering masters/PhD now, seriously. And, the guy who came in specialized in cardiac engineering, which is the total ideal for me. How exciting ^_^ So, just a fill in on my future plans insofar:

I'll graduate from UF with a Biological Engineering Bachelors and a Biomechanics Minor
From there I'll either go to med school or go for a masters in Biomed Engineering (depending on whether I get accepted to med school or not). And, if I want to, I'll still apply for med school after i get my biomed eng. masters. But, I also could go for a MPhD, which is like a medical doctorate.

a week in review

Thanksgiving was very disappointing. I yearn for the day-long parties, the childhood friends, the lechon--- but those seem to not exist in Pensacola. The family ended up going to Village Inn (of all places) and eating lunch. Afterwards, I played Sims, dad watched football, mom went to work. Thanksgiving was uneventful.

The day after, however, was great shopping, great family bonding. In short, my sis and I spent $300 between us. Now, we have to live in poverty the rest of our days. Plus, I got hit on by many guys, which I think was because of the New York Yankees beenie. I love my beenie soooo much!

But, overall, this past week has not been my week, for the following reasons:

-- The Spurs lost to the Lakers by 25-or-so points
-- The Spurs lost to Golden State
-- Gators lost to FSU
-- gained weight from copious amounts of food (I just can't say no)
-- I did no homework
-- my rooms (both dorm and home) are in shambles
-- The bio design project that my whole grade rides on is currently not working. It is currently nonexistent.
-- My car got backed into
-- I can at best get a C in Calculus
-- Sara is sleeping with Richard again

There are many others, but I'm just too tired to complain, and I have lots of calc homework to do.

Somewhere in the Bible it says that we shouldn't let our hearts be weighed with the anxieties of the world, and we should let tomorrow come as a surprise. So, my whole lifestyle is practically in conflict with the Bible. Maybe that's why nothing seems to be going my way.

Dateline Gainesville, Florida:
Amy Diego, UF college student, was coming out of the McDonald's on Archer Road when a chocolate brown cadillac rear-ended her and drove off. She was left feeling distraught and confused as the cadillac passenger proceeded in giving her a dirty look and giving her the bird.

"They messed with the wrong Filipina," Amy later said, after she composed herself. She was able to record the license plate number, and she plans to go to the authorities with the matter.

recap of today

A bomb filled with cow manure exploded in my face today, figuratively speaking. I made a 58 out of 100 on my calc test. What's more-- I got a 5 out of 8 on my extra credit. This may be paranoia talking, but I don't think Park likes me. So far I have a 71% in that class. I'm teetering between low C and high D. I will just die if I get another D...

In Physics, I have a 71% as well, but that's a B by physics standards, which makes me very happy. I anticipate making greater than a 10 on my final. If I make greater than a 12, I think I might even get a B+!

Today in dance class we learned nothing new, which was great fun. But, if I have to shout "2, 3, 4" one more time, I'll have to kill someone.


So, today I got my hair did! All thanks to Adriane

I'm a smart girl, and I got all the physics homework done inside an hour. Jess was able to meet over at the dorm, so we went through the lab together. Load of crap, but we got it done. It's just amazing how much she and I have in common-- she likes Pride an Prejudice, I like Pride and Prejudice; she loves Disney movies, I love Disney Movies; She chose Bio Engineering for pre-med, as did I, but she's smarter and decided to drop it while I'm still in it.

Ma called me up an hour ago: she watched Love Actually... and, she said she hated Love Actually, actually. She could not get over the porno scene... I should have anticipated that, and I don't know why I didn't. Despite that portion, I thought the rest of it was quite good.

Couldn't wait for the movie to come out...

So what else could happen but my worst expectations? I ended up not doing physics homework, but reading the rest of the Harry Potter book. Great book, but I'm now screwed. I don't know how i'll manage answering those questions before 1 am, and I dont know how i'll be able to drive home tomorrow. Hopefully lots of coffee will do the trick.

Someone call 911!

My happiness has just been shot in the face and put through a wood chipper. I made a 4/8 on my physics test. The test I thought I'd get more than 5 on. So, my official physics test average is a 50%. Someone help me. Speaking of which, I just found out that I have homework questions due on sunday. I haven't even looked at them yet, and I didn't bring the solutions manual. So, this is the plan for saturday:

Play tennis
Eat Lunch
Do homework until mental breakdown

I figure, I can do as much as I can, and then whatever homework I can't do I'll be back by 6pm Sunday so that I can see what questions I did get wrong. There is one thing crucial to this plan working: I have to do the homework tomorrow. If I put it off until Sunday, I'm screwed.

Did I mention I hate physics?

"Love Actually" ended up being sold out, so Kat and I bought tix to "Cat in the Hat"... and we ended up seeing "Love Actually" anyway. The movie was so cute and adorable (even the porno filming scenes). What is it with Brits and having their movies around Christmas? The thing about having a sold out theatre is, that not all the seats are actually occupied. When we got there, the whole front row was unoccupied. Of course, it was the front row, and who in their right minds woud sit in the front row? We did. I occupied two seats in fact. I raised the arm/drinkholder, and I sprawled myself out on those two seats, and I used the armrest on my right to rest my head. It ended up being a good movie experience. My sis and I also managed to smuggle in some Wendy's.

Latebreaking News from Brigette: Johnae ends up taking her dishes and silverwear home, on account that one of her dishes broke. I wasn't there, so it wasn't I. Brigette says she didn't. I think Adriane broke it when she was washing them (possibly). Frankly, it doesn't matter to me. True, I did prefer her silverwear to Brigette's, but I hardly ever use her dishes. I never felt comfortable using her dishes, and now I see that I was better off. I don't know if that was the most appropriate action to take for the sake of our roommate thing going on, and it was probably in the best interest of her dishes. All I know is, someone broke my mug. And I want to be paid a dollar! The thing is, someone keeps breaking thee things and no one confesses. We signed a contract saying that whoever breaks it pays for it, so I want the dollar or my mug, ad the three dollars for my winnie-the-pooh clip magnet.

So, I woke up late, and I ended up leaving at noon. I got there at 3:30-ish, which was totally fine. Pa was surprised. Seeing the family was great. The 'rents and i watched "Runaway Jury," which I thought was an awesome movie, and I just love John Cusack.

So, today pa and I went all over the place, and it was so much fun. I got my favorite scent out of it-- J'adore! Life is good.

At 7:35, we'll be seeing "Love Actually." Life is very good.

Good Day

Good days and bad days all depend on outlook. Horrible things can happen-- worlds may fall apart, the unexpected may become a reality, or you could be living out your worst nightmare. But even when it's not a good day, as long as I have at least one thing, one glimmering, shining piece of hope, then I can't call it a bad day. Sure, I may be in a bad mood, but hope will carry me through.

So, today was a good day. I mean, it was a REALLY good day. I felt as if I accomplished alot (excluding calculus, physics, or bio engineering design). I arrived to class late, but I still managed to catch the whole of a presentation by one of Dr. Leary's former students. Her presentationg reaffirmed my decision in wanting to be an engineer major. And, I didn't need the umbrella when i went out. It seems as though that rain was the worst of it. Around noon it was overcast and extremely windy. Then at 1 the sky was without a single cloud. Florida weather is truly something else.

At dance class, I arrived and noticed that not alot of people were there. I sat and talked with the other people in my group, and then Caserta started class. Girls went on one side, and guys on the other, as usual. Then Caserta made some comment on how empty the floor looked without the two-credit class. The thought didn't quite register in my head then... Then, we started doing advanced-level swing moves, which I was struggling in, and I turn to Devanshi and ask, "is this supposed to be three-credit only?"

"Yes."

Craaap. And, just then, Caserta announces that he wants a partner to dance with. And, guess which lucky lady he chose... double crap.

I reply meeky, "I'm two-credit."

He asks me what I was doing there, and I claimed ignorance. It turns out that he announced on Monday (during the first forty minutes that I wasn't there) that three-credit students were to meet, and the two-credit students could come thirty minutes later. So he released me, and I went walking.

I went to the Reitz. They were offering free flu shots there, so I took advantage of it. Then I went to the store to look at what to buy my father for his birthday. The prices were exorbitant (one sweatshirt- $44, one tee shirt- $14, dad's face when he sees me tomorrow afternoon- priceless). I didn't buy anything there, but I kept the prices in mind, and I walked back to class.

In social dance, I was still feeling embarrassed over what happened thirty minutes ago, but whatever. Our dance group got together (minus Kathryn) and we worked on the dancing. It went well-- there was virtually no conflict. Caserta even worked out our main pattern for us, which was simply awesome. And, I have the feeling Andy is digging me, just for the fact that every so often he keeps looking back at me. ^_^

After that, I went sweatshirt searching. I went up and down University to look for a good gift for my dad. I ended up buying him a $60 sweatshirt. Wearing that sweatshirt is like being wrapped in clouds. It is that comfortable.

Anyway, this is the plan for tomorrow: Go to volunteering at eight and stay until 9. Go to physics discussion, then go back to Shands and sign out. Get on the bus, head straight for my car, and go back to p-cola. That means I'm leaving at 11, so I'll probably be there by 4. Actually, that's 3 pm CST. Then: Surprise, daddy! What a great plan. Now, let's see how everything goes down.

I'm supposed to be at calculus right now, but it was raining very hard outside, and i couldn't find my umbrella. Who am I to mess around with mother nature?

And then Johnae said, "why don't you just wear a trash bag over your head?"

Yeah, that may be fine in the ghetto (obviously from which you came) but this is Gainesville, sweetie, and I'm not some piece of FOB foreign trash that you just tie up in a bag and dispose. I borrowed Brigette's extra umbrella instead. Too bad it isn't raining anymore though.

Anyway, I gotta get to class soon and turn in my super-easy Bio Engineering take-home test!

No, I haven't done any homework in the past two days; no, I haven't done anything but search the web for the last few hours. Not good.

Oink Oink

I ate so much today, I'm a freakin' pig: my waist increased by 4 inches in an hour with all the pigging out I did. Well, gotta starve myself for 4 days now....

My physics lab took forever to do. My partner was so denser than lead. But, we managed to get everything done, so not too bad.

In calculus, I do absolutely nothing. I just sit there and do everyhting else except for calculus. I can't wait for the end of the semester: I just want to stop going to class now.

We also had an official dance class meeting at 7:30 in the Florida Gym. Now that was something. It was basically discord between the choreographers and the music people. I, being a music person and unable to handle that sort of animosity, am playing both sides. I'll let those who have problems work it out, and I'll just chat with everyone. I am Switzerland.

Okay, first: I felt so confident coming out of that calculus test. Whooo!! yay! I deserve happiness every once in a while. ^_^ I don't think I'll get an A, but a B or high C.

Dr. Leary ended Bio Engineering class early, so Jess and I went to physics. I did absolutely nothing except a crossword puzzle. I am such a bum.

Afterwards, Michael let me crash in his dorm for an hour and a half, and I got to watch thirty minutes of AMC. Then, I went to dance class which I thought started at 2. It started at 1, and I arrived thirty minutes late. Whoops.

Someday I'll really need to approach Andy and start something going, but I'm just naturally inclined to initiate or accept contact like that. I wish they could teach a class on stuff like this.

Now, I got so much homework to do before thursday that it isn't funny. =(

I hope 9:35am never comes... I have studied for calculus at least 5 hours nonstop. Well, I exagerate, but I've practically studied all day today. That test better be an A tomorrow!

So, I went to the football field with Brigette to pick up her Aleve, and I meet Will's friend-- I think his name is Glenn?? He's 23, and he's got a kid. Regardless, he shamelessly persisted on asking me out. Even though I would never give him that sort of consideration, he's a nice and funny guy. And, his attentions gives me hope and added esteem. ^_^

I planned on studying all day. Mary wanted to come along, so I invited her. The thing about studying is, it's not a good thing to do when two people aren't studying the smae thing.

So, up until 12 I was okay with the studying. I got lots of stuff done, but I kept looking over my shoulder, and I felt kinda like she wasn't as into it as I was. Then, after lunch, I decided to stay at home and study, and she studied too. She would make calls on her cell phone, or go back and forth on my computer, and then later on she turned on the tv. It's a little disconcerting when someone who says they're gonna study with you does NOT study. I got little studying done from all the distraction. And, she kept asking about the DATs and Dental school. It kinda pissed me off that she asked the same questions over and over, and all I could say was "I don't know because I'm not a dental student. Go to an advisor."

Moral of the story: Mary is a good person, but it's better off to study alone.

Gainesville in November is awesome! The weather is always perfect. It's sunny and cloudless. It gets cold, but I can forgive it. Where else in the world can you wear a jacket and pants one hour, and a tank top and shorts the next?

Last night was so cold. I wonder how carrie ann's camping trip went. I'd like to go camping sometime, as long as it's not too hot, not cold, not overnight, not near dirt, and not near rabid animals. Oh, and I'd better have some sort of toilet and shower access or all hell would break loose.

feeling dirty and awful

What an awful night! The Spurs lost to the sixers 100-96! And, I missed it! I know that if I had stayed at home to watch the game, they would have won. I should have stayed at home! Then, at least I wouldn't have opaid $20 for a meal that I didn't finish, and get spanked in front of oogling physics guys. Those guys are smart, and I'm sure they're funny and quirky in their own ways, but they wre just unappealing to me. And I basically kept to myself the entire night because they seemed to keep the convo about things I had no opinion of. Overall though, they're decent guys. I'm just pissed off that the spurs lost. And, now I have studying in the morning to look forward to. What an exciting life I lead-- Don't you envy being me?

I am finally breaking in the new Tims I got in July. I be balllin' fosheazy! If sum foo' be hatin' and try to mess up my Tims, I'll bust im/er up so bad dat da cops won't even haf teeth 'n dental rekurds 2 go on.

posted by: miz diego's 2-hott-fo-ya ghetto booty.

I wrote a song!

I wrote a song during my calc class. I was supposed to be learning, but when true inspiration comes, you just gotta go with it! Okay, just for future reference, I don't know what really inspired this song. It just came out.

Peter Pan

In my dreams
you and I are soaring across the sky
Passing the sun, the moon, the stars
Heading straight into morning light
Hand in hand
we reach Never-never Land
You stole my breath and took me far away

I have never lived
'til the day that I met you
I never could have hoped for something more
And now I'm glad
you're here right by my side
You came and gave me life
Peter Pan

You took me
to a place I'd never been before
We explored the dark, dark caves inside my soul
You discovered things
I spent my whole life searching for
You shined new light and drove away all the darkness

I have never lived
'til the day that I met you
I never could have hoped for something more
And now I'm glad
you're here right by my side
You came and shined your light
You came and gave me life

You are the happy ending
that I thought would never ever exist
You have made my world sublime
And even though I know I'll have to wake up eventually
I'll wake up knowing that you're mine

I have never lived
'til the day that I met you
I never could have hoped for something more
And now I'm glad
you're here right by my side
You came and gave me life
Peter Pan

I think it would go perfectly with some dance/techno music. ^_^

My day went ____. It just went, really. I signed up for classes. My schedule: I'm taking thermo, bio, chem, physics, and 17th century poetry. I really don't want that one, but I'd rather sign up for soemthing right now and change it later.

i'm feelin' faint...

The swing is my newest fave dance! Today, we learned a cuddle move, and luckily I got to cuddle into two really cute guys. However, right after the cuddle, you go into a walk away and spin, and I just can't seem to remember that part, for some odd reason ^.~

Physics: I have one thing to say-- ew. The test wasn't horrible, but it wasn't great. I don't see myself getting an 8/8. I however, don't anticipate anything below 5/8. I hope it works out. Lord, let it work out.

All that spinning and going without food has got me hungry. I'm gonna eat and watch soaps now. It's moments like these that you just gotta take up, unwind, and enjoy.

I've been up since 4:30, studying physics.

Happily, I think I know everything! Sadly, I won't be sure of that until after I take the test. I took the test from last year posted online, and I was unsure on a few questions, but for the most part I would have figured it out if I didn't have the solutions right in front of me. All thanks to the physics goddess, Layla. =)

I am soooo bored right now. I finally went to Rogers Hall to study. It is great! I definitely should come here more often. It's out of the way, but I got alot of things done here. And, I like how after I'm done I can fool around on the computer (like what I'm doing right now).

My first class is Calculus-- 9:35 am. I have no idea what's going on in that class, it's not even funny. Could someone spare me a clue? Ever since Jessica dropped out of it, I have had no will to even go, yet academic duty must prevail. I need to befriend one of the smart people in that class. I know Tyler, but he sits all the way on the other side of the room. Speaking of which, I should ask him if he wants to study together before the test.

Ever since my PDA fell victim to my carelessness, I've been so discombobulated. I have no direction now. =( I'm desperately over-dependent on that thing.

Could I become anymore apathetic to my situation?

I am totally uncaring about physics right now. There's a physics test tomorrow, and I have practically all day to study. But, I haven't even touched the book today. I'll be reading this after I get my report card saying I got a D in physics, and I bet the future me would love to ring the present me's neck-- if that makes any sense whatsoever. As for calculus: I tried doing it this morning, but I am more scared than ever. I completed the homework, but I barely understood it to begin with. Why has math diverted from the use of numbers completely? This can't be math; I like math. This has to be all the devil's work. I hate calculus.

In three weeks, the fall semester ends. I don't know whether to be happy that it's all coming to an end, or to be worried about my grades. Right now, I'm not really feeling anything towards academics. Now, that's apathy.

***

Today is such a beautiful day. I can't get over how perfect the weather is outside. There are fluffy white clouds and blue skies, a crisp breeze, and the sun is shining like the first time. Yesterday's weather was like the end of the world, but today is fresh and new. Today is promising. Actually, I enjoyed yesterday's weather also. I'm one of those people who like overcast and semi-chilly weather. Don't ask me why-- I have a hard time explaining it myself. But, I do love fall weather most out of all the other seasons.

I"ll be getting together with Veldana and Layla later to do some mad cramming on physics. That'll hopefully put my butt back on track for the upcoming physics test.

PS: Someone-- Anyone! test out the new chatterbox I put in.

I am a physics retard

i could only get a 75% at best on my homework. And on top of that: I missed the review session for the test on wednesday.

SO, nothing spectacular happened today. and i'll have to wake up early tomorrow and do some essential study time. Maybe i'll go to Rogers and study there tomorrow. I don't know how I'll be getting there though, considering the busses won't run tomorrow on account of the Veteran's Day holiday. I think I'll just park in a nearby area there. Ewan ko...

Jessica was practically beaming today: her stepfather has a treatable cancer (which is way better than what they expected), and she has a new boyfriend (who is really buff, from what i hear). If I were her, I'd be running down the streets and announcing to the world.

The perks of Health Academy: being able to brag about being able to take pulses and perform other medical assistant's duties.

A weekend with Sara

Just to update, I was not taken in... I think. I don't know, and i don't want to think about it. Hanging out with Sara was great! She's so thin and pretty, I'm so jealous! I want to have her body-- clothes look perfect on her! I kept thinking she should try modeling or acting or something, rather than taking nursing!

So, I said everything that needed to be said without raising suspicion of Carlo's having told me anything. I deserve a pat on the back! I hope she listened to what I said. She agreed with what I had to say, but I don't know if she'll follow through with me being so far away. Hopefully she'll call me up and update me.

I ought to call Carlo and tell him what went down. That's not betraying Sara, is it? I mean, he's only concerned for her, which is my reason for telling him. She didn't tell me not to tell him, anyway.

Now, here's the ever popular bad news / good news section, according to Amy:

bad news: Spurs freakin' lost against the Mavs! We're 3-4! We suck!!! grr...

good news: I may have sent a subtle message to Jarett to make him visit more often. ^_^

Ready to shout

I have truly been played last night, and I was so foolish in believing a word that girl told me. I should have seen the signs-- she called from Richard's phone last night, and her headlight blew out. I saw it as coincidence, but she contrived the lie. She made me believee it to be the truth.

Let the truth be told:
Sara never left Pensacola last night. Carlo's friend spotted her at Richard's place at 10 pm. 10 pm (11 EST) is around the time that she called me up from Richard's phone to say that she was at Tallahassee with the broken headlight. My friends and I were waiting for her to call up any minute saying she was there, and then we could go out. Brigette and Kari saw Sara's true nature before I did. They got pissed off at Sara, whom they don't even know, while I said, "oh well." They are good friends to me.

I don't know how I got so attached to Sara. She has been a friendly person to me, and I've been a sort of confidant for her. So, with everything I tell her, I felt for her and her situation and circumstance. And, she told me everything because she wanted me, her friend, to know. That's how we really connected in high school, I guess.

But now, she's lying to Carlo and me and to all the others who cared for her. She knows what she's doing is not right, because she's lying about it. She wouldn't dare destruct her reputation or standing with us with news from her that she's laying at Richard's bed every night. She's no longer the naive, mousy Sara who befriended me in sophomore year of high school. Richard corrupted her. He's going to hurt her too, and she doesn't want to see that. She'd rather tell herself that he's making love to her, despite her knowledge of the other girls. She thinks he's changed.

I think he's changed too. I never could have believed that he could be this cruel and stupid and selfish. He's already got some kind of STD (genital warts, I think), and it'll only escalate from there. He is screwing some girl every night. ::note, the rest of what I'm writing is a recollection just for me, so it may be anachronistic:: Carlo first introduced Richard and Sara on a blind date. He intended for Richard to go out w/ Leah, but Sara nad Richard hit it off. So, they started talking with each other, and she told to him everything. SHe fell completely for him. Around that time, he still had a girlfriend. She knew he was messing around, and she confronted him with it and said it was over. He and his girlfriend still stayed together, and he had Sara on the side. That was his first lie. Eventually, Hhe and sara became really close. and, no big news after that. A copule of months went buy, and prom came. After that, graduation. From the sparse phone conversations we had, I found out that he became her first.

When I saw her again, which was in Thanksgiving of 2002, he was already overseas, and he was constantly calling her. She was distressed, I could tell, and it came as no surprise to me when she broke up with him. She started seeing someone else- David- off the rebound. Later on she tells me that he steals from her and she can't really trust him, but she is still with him, from what Carlo tells me. Yes-- this is concurrent to her tryst with Richard.

So, we're now at November 8, 2003, and I just found out to what extent she's hooke on Richard. Carlo is so pissed off. I'm just so sad for her right now. I'm not mad at her. Well, I'm pissed off that she did that she told me she was coming and she did not, because I could have gone up this weekend to P-cola, but I'm more concerned for her. I desperately want to fix her, but I know I'd have to be there for her for more than a weekend. In fact, I think she's leaving tomorrow, so I have less than 24 hours.

I'm sure Brigette will compare my rfriendship with Sara to that with Lavell's. The thing is, Sara's never had betrayed me. I know she's lying to me, but she thinks its in my best interests. Lavell betrayed me in feeling. Through what he voiced as his "perception" to Mary, he believes I'm cold, caustic, and uncaring. Sobeit. If you think that way, what'll prevent me from being that way to you now? Is it my duty to prove him wrong?

I don't need inconstant friends like this. Both Sara and Lavell. But, I cannot abandon Sara, especially when she's most at need right now of some counseling. I have always played this role of therapist. It's a wonder as to why I didn't want to take up psycology.

LET THE GATOR GROWL! Gator Growl was just awesome. The comedians were funny, the music was awesome, everything was great! I recruited Devin at the last minute to take Sara's ticket, sinc she didn't show up. Devin proved to be a good companion. Kari also came along, and hanging w/ her was also nice.


Sara didn't show up today, and I'm pretty sure Brigette will hold that against her when they meet. Why can't ppl just get along?

Sara's headlight went out, so she has to get it replaced. She'll do that tomorrow morning, and she'll definitely show up tomorrow. I was considering getting football tix for the two of us, but I'm pretty sure that she'd arrive too late for it. Anyway, we can go for lunch and walk around the mall, etc.

I love mornings where there is nothing to do. I think it gives the mind most clarity. You just wake up, and you don't think about what you have to do just yet (since there is nothing to do), so you just take in your senses. The sunlight peers in through the window, bringing in full brightness to your former state of dark dormancy. I look forward to that every morning.

So, now I'm fully awake. Here's what I have to do: laundry, cleaning, call Sara and find out what time she'll get here, study, watch AMC. It looks good enough, but let's see what actually happens.

I'll keep ya posted.

Spurs v. Lakers

double OT, and we lost... but what an awesome game! I did not expect the Spurs to do so well, especially with two starters on the injured list and a roster with non-superstar names. But we led most of the time, against all-star players nonetheless, and we kept it to double overtime. We'll see how things go next month when Tim and Parker will be playing. What a game that will be!

And, Kobe Bryant-- possible San Antonio Spur. The announcers said that he might come because his contract ends this year. Although I don't really like him, I would like for him to be wearing a Spurs jersey (rather than any other jersey). But, wouldn't he be in some state penitentary by next season anyway? I don't want to condemn him; I just want to see him get what he deserves.

Something totally unrelated to basketball- I saw a commercial advertising a game. This game puts you in the middle of WWII against Hitler and the Japanese and other Axis powers. This is sick. Who developed such a game? Did these WWII fighters not fight and die just so that their children and their children's children would not have to experience something like this? And, for their efforts to be trivialized, boxed, and sold at $30 in Walmart is just not right. What next? A game about the September 11th hijacking? "In a war against Osama Bin Laden, stop those Muslim terrorists from hitting the White House." It is simply deplorable. IF this would benefit Holocaust victims or some WWII veterans, I guess it would be justified. But, the fact that they made a video game-- ENTERTAINMENT -- out of a very serious war wherein millions suffered is just not sitting well with me at the moment.

Dear Sara

Sara, what happened to you? I don't know how to begin, but I know what you're doing has to end. Everything you're up to, everything that's causing you pain-- just let go of it. It may seem drastic, but aren't you involved in much worse right now? Do you know how much you hurt your loved ones, who care for you and love you so dearly it makes them suffer to see you subject yourself to this? Richard has hurt you before, and this time around he could do more damage than a broken heart. I know, it may be easier to confide in people who don't care so much about you, but tell your friends and your family. They aren't as weak as you think. They will be the ones that'll help you through this. They will be the ones who make you a better and stronger person, because we only want what's best for you. Right now, what you are doing to yourself is not good. I want to telll you that much. I will always love you, Sara, even though we may grow apart. You should know you can always come to me, even though I may seem like a distant memory or you may think I don't care. I'll always care. Please take care of yourself, and please let those who love you take care of you.

So, my Kuya Jay wakes me up with a text message at 7 in the morning. Of all things, it was a chain text message! I would have shot him if he were in the US. He's gotta be gay, I swear. Not that it's a bad thing, I think it's funny. I have a gay cousin. ^_^ cool.

So, we took apart a toy car in my class today. It was a nice aberration from normal design class wherein I would slowly drift off to the land of dreams after 20 minutes of lecture. Mind you, this is 8:30 in the morning. Wow, imagine when i'm taking 7:25 Thermo next semester. What a nightmare that class will be.

Rudy was more talkative than usual today, which is a good thing. He's just so cute! ^_^

In volunteering I had nothing to do. Not unusual, just boring. At least I got some calculus problems done (about 3, very sad).

Mary informed me when we met for lunch how she and Simon got together around 1 am. Tooo funny. She's crazy!

I did not use the computer all yesterday-- it's a part of the 12-step plan. just kidding, just kidding. =P

Anyway, Lavell gave me a cd for my b-day.... very nice, and I appreciate it. Frankly, I don't know how he puts up with me.

I'm eager to finish Sense and Sensibility or watch All My Children right now, but i must do physics. I'll do it... right after I finish my taco. =)

I ended up going to the salsa music meeting, and our music selection is soo off the chain. ^_^ Kathryn, the girl whose apartment we went to, had a dog that kept wanting to hump my leg. eww...

Classes were nothing really to note. I was late to calc class because I woke up at 8:41. Not positive, but at least nothing was going on. I wonder how I'll be able to handle a 7:30 class next semester.

I'll be going to an official social dance meeting later to discuss possible salsa music. It was supposed to be at 7:30 tonight, but the girl didn't call me. I wonder if that means the meeting is canceled. And, if it is, I can eat the fried rice I made! Yay.

I'm going to do calc homework now (hopefully).

chalk up another reason for staying within one's culture:

I'll give you one guess as to whom this blog is dedicated. He is revolting, absolutely horrible. Am I being cold to him again? I hadn't noticed. I had noticed though that he no longer makes an effort to reach out to me, which is by definition cold, is it not? I admit I did yell at him for calling me about homework solutions. He wasn't supposed to be asking me in the first place, but to then try to tell me that I should be doing something differently (when i knew i was going about it the right way), well... I went off. but , the next day i was kind. Does that negate things? I showed him what I did, and I was nice. But since then he had not said one word to me. NOT ONE WORD.

The next thing I hear, Brigette tells me that he told her that I've been cold to him. Now, how is the subject brought up? Either Grace told him, which would be like her; Brigette told him, and I could see her doing that also; or, Mary told him, which I could see happening as well. OR~ I'm just being paranoid, which could just be the case.

And, I admit right here, right now, in front of everyone in the world-- this is my excuse for brushing him off. I'd rather take this and run with it than listen to other people's reasonings. Why? Because I just can't stand him anymore, that's why. The thing is, I can go and say, i've tried and tried. Has he? I think he has. I just don't like him. Get ready for the revelation-- I think I didn't like him from the beginning. It was so long ago I hardly remember. But if I never liked him, why else would I have gone out of my way to cook, and to get him the nice b-day and Christmas present? WHat happened was that I got hung up in that he didn't respect me. Who was the one to make amends the first time-- me! why should I care now, again? A year ago i wanted us to be friends again. A year ago I was foolish. Perhaps I've become even more foolish??

I think I've taken a turn for the worse. Is it me to be this way? I say "oh my god" all the time now without feeling a thing. I am in desperate need of a reconciliation, and these things i'll confess:

1. I have not gone in nearly two years
2. I get frustrated to my mother
3. I lied to my parents
4. I'm vindictive
5. I went to a psychic
6. I am, to an extent, taking the psychic's words to heart
7. I take the Lord's name in vain (my tongue should be cut off)
8. I need to focus more on my studies rather than my own selfishness
9. I need to stop worrying about my weight
10. I am an unfair person to Lavell
11. I let my singing talent fall by the wayside
12. I have not prayed in a while
13. I get defensive easily and retaliate too quickly and harshly

God is testing me right now, more than I ever have been before, I think. How else could all this drama in the last month be what it is? I won't falter, because I know He's with me always, even though it may not seem that way.

***
God, I'm sorry for my sins. I am sorry for everything that I listed above. I wish I could just turn myself into a better person, but I feel like this world demands of me someone different. I need you now more than ever. Open my heart, open my eyes. Let me see what's going on, because I hardly know who I am now. My head swims in dark thoughts, and my mind is bogged down with materialism and selfishness. I need a fresh start, and what a better way than a birthday? Lord, you have given me countless chances for inspiration, but it never seems to last for me. I don't know that I'm learning what you are teaching. I grasp it for an evanescent second, only to settle all too readily back into my life and old habits. I know You are with me too. You are the reason I feel the shame for my actions. You are the reason I feel anything at all, but, I'm slowly going numb. I need You. Please help me see my way through the turbulence. Help me arise from this a stronger person. Help me to let go of my sins and the sins of others. And, make me see people as Your perfect creations. All I see right now are flaws. And not only do I see... I broadcast. Sew my lips shut if you have to, but forgive me, and help me see a better side of myself. Amen.
***

What a birthday, that's all it comes down to.

I ended up going to Sky nightclub on friday night with Mary. It wasn't that great. the DJ absolutely sucked. Mary looked like a skanky secretary though! Too funny. I didn't dress up. Anyway, Mary and I get out of the club, and the car is gone. It got towed, and I had to pay $73 to get it back-- great way to start out the b-day. Thanks to Michael, Simon, and Mary for being sympathetic. =(

My parents, sis, and lola came around noon, so I went to Red Lobster w/ them. It was so great to see all of them. And, I felt so bad to be showered with all the gifts that they gave me. I specifically said no gifts, considering how much I spent the last few weeks (along with the $73 towing!). Gotta love my parents for that, but at the same point I feel like an inadequate (dare I say, bad) daughter. I definitely need to find some sort of research job for the spring.

So, I had a plan for the roomies and some good friends to go to olive garden. At the last minute my two roomies Johnae and Adriane bailed out on me, and that's what it comes down to. That hurt my feelings, since I did want them there. Johnae claimed to have godparents come over, and I know she didn't. Adriane said she was going to Jacksonville, and I know she didn't. Why do they have to be so round about? That pisses me off. I truly can't wait until it's just Brigette and me.

Johnae is especially pissing me off. Not her really, just the way she is. She is nice and everything, and she was there when I really needed her, but right away when everything got back to normal she's not there. She acts as if she's a total stranger to me. I don't see her contributing to 302 like she should be. She doesn't take out the trash, she's hardly social with us unless she has to be.

I do like Adriane, and I really don't have anything against her. She's the one whom I feel contributes most out of any of us. I just wish she came to dinner, that's all.

The dinner turned out great! My parents love my friends, and it was just so nice to have them there. I got wonderful presents, and I kept getting phone calls from other friends. And, I had wonderful AIM messages. ^_^

Now that I'm nineteen, I feel that I need something exciting to happen within this next year. More than just college or moving to an apartment.

It took me an hour or so to do my 9 physics homework problems, and now I just finished.

What am I going to do tonight?? I don't know where my friends are =(

I went to physics and made my first hundred on a quiz! The physics grade is salvageable yet! That was the only class that day b/c my teacher canceled bio design class. I went to volunteering for about an hour, and then i left because they had me doing nothing. I think I need to really promote myself out there, but I'm just not feeling it. Eh... Once I volunteer in the Operating Room it'll be better.

So, it turns out that the student tix for Miss Satgino were all sold out, so Mary and I dropped our plans altogether of seeing that. Then, Mary and I stood in line for 2 hours for a free tarot card reading. She left before I got there. I was the last person to be read before she left. These are the following things she told me

1. I have a friend in the distance who used to be close to me in the past.
2. In the upcoming months I'm going to meet someone (an Aquarius) who is not as mature as i first perceive him to be, but then he and i end up being "playmates," and he teaches me how to play...
3. I will attain all my goals, but there will be a slight delay
4. The father of the person mentioned in #2 will somehow help me out of the delay mentioned in number #3
5. a big change that'll happen in the upcoming months will not be as exciting as i expect it to be, but it'll still be okay.

So, isn't that interestingly vague? I mean, now that I think about it, that friend in #1 could have been anyone--Sara, Leah, Kristine, Ryan... I associated it to Lavell already. She said that he'd only learn his lesson if it affected his pocketbook.
#2 was kinda different. I mean, sure, in college you meet tons of people who seem immature and stuff. She said my dad was strict about relationships, which she can say really about any Asian parent. But, now I gotta find out whether Andy is an Aquarius or not =P
In #3, I thought it was reassuring to hear, although that little delay is kinda weird. I'm thinking future American Idol contestant?? haha, that'd be great.
I thought it was weird how she tied in #2 and #3 together like that. the "playmate's" father?? Very weird.
#5 She said a big event. I started listing off some stuff, and she said it was probably me and brigette moving in together. I can see that happening with me. Bleh =P

I think, it's all in the presentation of the cards and reading them and interpreting them . It can mean anything really, but she was being vague enough, and i was just filling in the blanks for her. But, it really was a great experience. I liked how all the cards just came out like they belonged there.

At the time, I thought it was so funny and weird. Two hours-- it was worth the wait. However, I got no Calculus homework done =( I however have the answers to all the physics problems (in more ways than one)! yay!! Physics grade is definitely looking promising, thanks to Layla. She is going to tutor me while I give her piano lessons.

Layla and I went to Don Pablo's-- cute waiter, good food. I stole their salsa, and afterwards when i was walking out with my to go box, this poor guy on the sidewalk asked us for some change. I gave him some food. I'm like the Robin Hood of Tex-Mex dining, hahaha. ^_^

Layla and I chilled for a while at the dorm, and then Mary came by. Mary and Layla really hit it off, and by the end of the night they were talking about living together! That had both me and Brigette tripped up! I don't know how that'll work out, but I hope everyone ends up happy.

Layla did this card trick on relationships. It is so cool, and now I know it! haha... I gotta try it on other ppl. She tried me and Lavell, and yeah, it said it was the worst pairing possible.

Lesson learned today: Only you predict your life, but I wonder who the Aquarian playmate is...

Today was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and there was a lovely breeze. It's the perfect day to go frolicking in a field, but i was stuck in the non-airconditioned classroom. Like, today would be the ideal day to have a bomb threat, if this were back in my high school where we had bomb threats twice a day. Most of the time we had bomb threats in sweltering 90 degree weather. High school memories.... what a joy.

When I got back to the dorm, I decided to wash the dishes in the sink. Mind you, half the dishes were already washed, but my roommates (or atleast one of them) does not wash it as thoroughly as I'd like. In other words, there were still food particles stuck on the "washed" dishes. Needless to say, I washed and rewashed. I hate how I'm the only one who really cares about the maintenance of the kitchen. I've been doin too much cleaning the last few days, and I still have more to do. Gotta impress the 'rents.

Melissa's 40th day is today. Tita Grace is holding a prayer thing tonight. I still cannot believe all of it. I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it. I truly hope they are okay, but I know they are far from it right now.

i found out that i can get my PDA shipped to the manufacturer, and they'll give me a new one-- at a cost of $25. That sounds pretty good to me right now. I'll tell my parents there's some sort of problem with the touch sensor of the screen... not that it cracked after i dropped it.

You know, when you're faced with expulsion, you tend to look at things quite differently. Today came that very situation in my physics lab. In the study area, of all places. After I got finished with the TA and understood all the problems, I saw Tyler (really cute but skinny). I went over to him and started telling him how to do the homework, and I was showing him what the TA had just explained to me. Afterwards, he was doing the hw on his own, but I left the paper in plain view. Ray, some fat old white guy I had never before met in my life, comes up behind the two of us and is like "I can expell you two for that" and he went off about the code in the book. I was o shocked, and I was ready to cry. That scared me so badly, and i didn't know how to react. All i knew was that i shouldn't open my mouth, so other than saying "I wasjust explaining it to him and i left it out there", I said a whole lot of sorries and that was it. Ray is a major jerk that wants to make my life a living hell. The solutions were on the board, and the TA had his solutions out for me and three other girls to see. And he wants to make an example out of me. Can you believe that?! But really, I'm just thanking God right now that I wsn't expelled.

So, the highlight of my day was the Spurs game. It was too great. The Spurs did a major seventeen point comeback and won by one point. ^_^ Sux to be a suns fan right now. I don't know what to think about the players they have this year. Carter is iffy to me, but then again he shot the winning point. I just hope that they win again. And again, and again.

oh my god... oh my god oh my god. The screen on my PDA is cracked!!! What am I going to do?!?!? Oh my god. This can't be happening. My parents are going to kill me. It still works, but it's cracked! oh my god. I'm going to die.

what is it with me and my gadgets? My booklight died, my cell phone is dying, and my PDA is in critical condition. What next? my digital cam? my computer? NOooo!!!!!

I forgot to mention-- i just found out one of my best friends in SA has a boyfriend on the down low and she is making out with him like mad. How come I don't have one yet?!?!?!?!

dAt BoI gZeR0MiE: yo0 dont have a man yet???
dAt BoI gZeR0MiE: yo0 should
dAt BoI gZeR0MiE: yo0re possibly hott ta other guys
amy d pinay: possibly
amy d pinay: am i not hot to you??
dAt BoI gZeR0MiE: (i cant say yo0re hott cause that would be to0 weird)
amy d pinay: lol
dAt BoI gZeR0MiE: that would be like saying kristine is hot
dAt BoI gZeR0MiE: SICKKKKKKK
dAt BoI gZeR0MiE: but take jon fer example
dAt BoI gZeR0MiE: hahahahaha
dAt BoI gZeR0MiE: he thinks yo0re hott

Jerome is too funny. Kristine is having fun. Jon has exquisite taste. ^.~

Jacksonville was awesome! I love my cousins, but I'm allergic to their house.

Mambo was scary today. I danced with Andy again, and Caserta called me out. He was definitely jerking me around and making me feel like an idiot. Spinning spinning... empty stomach... lightheaded... I was about to faint. And not the good kind of swooning faint-- no, it was the about to pass out faint. Too much homosexual frustration on his part probably put him in his pissy mood. Or maybe he didn't get some from his girlfriend? Seeing the way he moves his hand around (flapping it back and forth) is not reassuring to his masculinity, although he claims to be straight. Hmmm...

Anyway, I've definitely neglected my boyfriend (aka calculus) so I gotta go.

Worst News: I made a 56 in my calc test. A 56!!!!! Omg. I'm going to die. I'm just going to die now. I am so shamed. I made a 2/8 in my physics test, a 56 on my calc test, and a B on my openbook bio engineering test!!! OPEN BOOK! I am the worst test taker in the world, that is the only explanation for it. Dire situations right now. Very Bad.

Better News: I had a smoothie today called Orange Aruba. It was very good, although I had better. 7/10.
Apartment Finders hosted this Apartment fair today on the Reitz lawn. It was great. Got so much info. I look forward to rooming w/ Brigette next year! ^_^
Today I learned the Mambo. it was great-- so much fun.

Best News: My teacher canceled calc on friday, so no class! Furthermore, he gave us a take home quiz to do which will be like 20 points! that raises my 56 to a 76.... so my grade is salvageable! Dr. Park, you are the best! And, because I have no class on Friday, I'll be travelling to Jax on Thursday afternoon! I'm looking forward to a great weekend.

Yesterday, the guy across the hall whom I never met was kind enough to lend me his tennis racket and balls!

Tennis was fun, but I don't feel like I got a workout from it. I'm not achy like I should be. Kari, however, got really good at serving and returning. Now all she needs to work on is returning it without letting the ball bounce twice. I envy her long legs.

I went to a different church today. I was kinda let down by the homily and the music was a bit over the top, but it was a wonderful site. The church was just so big and a modern architecture design, but still with the same awe-inspring feel that makes you feel all warm and safe. I think it's great to find two churches like that within a small city like Gainesville. The thing about the homily-- it basically talked about money and tithing... I was expecting some exclusive Catholic news regarding the Pope or the beatification of Mother Teresa at least. Nope-- they talked about money. I guess we see the priority of things then.

Anyway, I'm finally getting around to doing homework. I went crazy for about 30 minutes with the new febreze allergen control that I bought. Hopefully I'll stop sneezing.

I'm a nationally recognized smarty pants

The induction ceremony went well. I scoped out the place-- not many cute guys or asians. In otherwords, not my type of club! J/K =P It seems really nice, and I look forward to being a part of that group. Also, three girls from my high school are a part of it. Granted, I never knew them, but at least we can start from that common bond.

Gators won, just barely. Oh well, wins are wins, and we should take it for what it is. hopefully, we win the rest of the season and get back to the top 25. I don't want to be affiliated with no loser team!

I emailed the family for the first time... put the yahoo group to use. I love my family ^_^

I'll be playing tennis w/ Kari in an hour. At first we were going to go out and party together, but now she's not in the party mood, and there are no parties this weekend anyway. Hopefully I burn off this arm fat... and leg fat and butt fat and tummy fat and hip fat. Okay, I should do calc now for an hour before playing tennis, so I get something done.

word of the day:
pedant- one who shows off learning

I hope today is a good day. I have induction into the National Society of Collegiate scholars. Yes~ I'll be a nationally recognized smart person!

My family is in Tennessee right now for my second cousin's wedding. It's supposed to be a double ceremony-- one Hindu and one Catholic (My cousin's half and half, and her parents are millionaires). I wanted to go, but my dad already spent too mcu on me with that plane ticket to Chicago. My dad offered me a plane ticket this weekend, and I told him I would never step on a plane for as long as I lived.

I just made a connection--There was something going on yesterday wherein some people snuck in some boxcutters, bleach, and clay things inside a few planes. It was found by officials later on, and it had a note attached to it that read "Security is not as tight as it should be" or something to that effect. That is scary that these people were able to pull it off. And, imagine if it were terrorists who managed to sneak these things by and use them in the planes.

The test was not too bad! I anticipate getting no worse than a 70. My standards have drastically lowered since coming to college...

I have just done my nails, a la french manicure. it's so hard to get the white part to be one straight line, but it looks so pretty now. Anyway, you only notice the imperfections if you set out to look for them. I'm still talking about nails, but this can be applied to everything else.

The rest of friday will be devoted to laundry, cleaning, and calling some friend up to hang out with this weekend.

I haven't studied too much for the calc test that's in 6 hours (to be exact), and I can't believe I'm still awake. Also, I'm not sleepy. I was watching Scent of a Woman, with Al Pacino and Chris O'Donnell. That was such a good movie.

I have 6 hours, so I think I'll study for about another hour, sleep until 7 am, and then shower and study again. I can already tell that today is not going to be pretty.

I had this dream that i was trying to catch all these frogs, and they were all jumping everywhere. I think that I was trying to take care of them all at once, and some of them let me pick them up, and for others I had the hardest time trying to catch them without squishing them. ::No frogs were harmed in this dream, so get of my back, PETA:: I just wanted to know what it meant so I just looked it up online (it's amazing what you can find these days), and voila!

Frog (Dreammoods.com)
To see a frog in your dream, represents a potential to change or to do the unexpected. The frog may be a prince in disguise. Alternatively, the frog may suggest uncleanness.

To see frogs leaping in your dream, may indicate your lack of commitment. You have the tendency to jump from one thing to another. Alternatively, it may suggest that you are taking major steps toward some goal.

To dream that you are catching a frog, signifies your carelessness concerning your health.

Too amazing to be coincidence:
1) I'm having an issue right now with my roommates not cleaning up after themselves
2) This past weekend I planned the next three years of courses in my major
3) I haven't been really eating correctly the past couple of weeks, just because i don't have the time (i'm not anorexic like my roommates think i am). At one point I had a soda and poptarts for breakfast. It's depressing to think about that. Anyway, I've been eating three meals the last couple of days. I hope this keeps up! I like eating, just not being fat. ^_^
4)I'm hoping there's a prince charming somewhere in the midst of it. I mean, there were a ton of frogs in my dream, after all...

Anyway, moving on: I definitely have to rent east of eden this weekend. James Dean is in it, and I read the book like two years ago and was totally blown away. And, David Letterman was talking about how good it was tonight.

They are doing some sort of construction in lakeside (my dorm), and it smells just like the rodeo came in. You know... that fresh cow manure smell. Coming from San Antonio, you learn to make such associations.

Anyway, smelling it made me happy. Not that I'm some sort of copromaniac or something, but just remembering the times when i was young and i went to the rodeo with my family. It was always crowded and it stunk like the world was coming to an end, but I always looked forward to it each year in the spring time. I'd be eating the churros and corndogs and whatever else they had there. They had armadillo races-- great entertainment. They also had great rides. There were so many different things, like bull fights and clowns and horse petting. Reba McIntyre also came, and she sang. That was my first concert ever. Good times. ^_^

Nothing fun like that comes to Florida =(

I FAILED a physics test. I got a 2 out of 8. =( So sad... however! I am not dropping the class, I'm gonna stick with it. I think I can still pull of a B in the class, as long as I do my homework and quizzes, and if I study like mad for the third test and the final, so not bad! Mind you, the curve for an A will probably be 70-100. Yes, isn't that fantastic news?
Okay, now I should study for my calc test on friday.

International Standard dances: Foxtrot, Waltz, Tango, Vienese waltz, Quickstep
"Forget What The Veteran Queer said."

On the issue of a nation "under God"
How can a half-second phrase spark months of debate?

I'm Catholic. I believe in God, and I believe in Jesus. I also believe that the separation of church and state is core to our country's foundations. This government should be free of any church in order to service everyone equally. The one thing uniting all of us, if nothing else, is that we live in America. America's principles lie in the basis that everyone is created equally, and it is the duty of the government to be equally there for each and every American.
Those who compare our current situation to what's always been, or what was fifty years or a hundred years or two centuries ago are misguided. This is not the same country it was twenty years ago, even. We are ever changing and growing. Many things that were appropriate back then are certainly not appropriate now. Slavery, child labor, racism, classism, sexism: these were all appropriate back in the day. Of course, God is incomparable to such appaling subjects, but think of the average American today. This person could be black, white, hispanic, asian, gay, straight, muslim, jewish, wiccan, buddhist. We are a nation of so many cultures. It is unconstitutional that any of these Americans be disenfranchised. And trust me, these two words can make one feel a foreigner, even though he or she lived in America for his or her entire life. These words "under God" mean an affiliation to a certain god-- the God. It means that our nation is not governed by us, but under God. Of course that's comforting to a Christian, but what about to those who don't believe in God? What are they to think if they don't believe in God while our pledge clearly states that we are a nation under God? Are they not a part of the nation as well? Christians may answer "of course", but would you truly feel like a part of something if it is under something you don't believe in? These people are no less Americans, but it seems as if we treat them as such. No person should feel like a foreigner in his or her own homeland just because he or she is not a part of the majority.
Our country's ideals are of acceptance and equality among all, so we as citizens of this country should support that. It is a hard reality to face, but once we as a people overcome it, we are the better for it.

And for those of you who think that this is one more step in our society becoming godless, this is far from the truth. Morality is a virtue, not a part of religion. The government's dissasociating itself from the Christian God is not what it seems to be. This is not showing disrespect to God; this is showing respect to the people. I wouldn't think that God needs to be justified by half-hearted affirmations by a bunch of grade school students each morning. If you believe otherwise, then you believe that God is frivolous. God does not need his name in the pledge of allegiance. Where He is needed is in our hearts and our thoughts and actions.

I do believe now that I was cursed by a email chain letter. I just finished reading it, and I was thinking what a load of bull and I was going to delete it. But! What if the reason for my nonexistent love life is because I kept deleting those messages?!

Ah well, I deleted the email anyway. I can't stand those things

Danced with three guys. Not the greatest dancers, but good enough. Mr. Caserta was being a Nazi today. If someone did one little thing out of line, they wre immediately asked to leave. Although it is ultimately a good thing for the class, it was awful. Really scary.

Calculus! The teacher basically apologized for giving such a difficult test, and he's making up another test for up to take on Friday. ^_^ I have never been so happy to take a test in my life!

Physics test was harsh.

It was raining so hard today. Foolish me forgot to bring the umbrella. Got wet. Thanks to Jessica, however, half of me was dry.

Plan of the day

So, someone tell me where my mind went, and why I didn't study for physics like I was supposed to.
So, here's the thing: go to the reitz and get my new ID; study; eat (?); calculus-- find out my failing grade; ag &bio engineering mid term (open notes!); physics (Formula sheet!); Social dance = dance w/ hot frat boys and atheletes (!); ag & bio lab-- dance w/ more hot frat boys and atheletes (i wish); use ID card to get on bus and go home. Ain't mondays grand??

As of now I'm getting ready for my ID pic, and I'm jamming to Josh Groban like some over-forty, post-menopausal, soap opera-watching, overly-emotional divorcee who believes that she has a chance at being the mother of Josh Groban's babies. what a terrible picture that paints.

Just cooked myself some Spam and eggs, and then I made some Milo for myself. YUMMY! And, I have solved most of my physics questions so far. I am the Physics genius! I hope I didn't just jinx myself.

I woke up late. I barely reviewed all the chapters like i was supposed to. When someone from the second period class came out, and said "I'm dropping this class. I blanked out in the test," I should have foreseen the things to come.

I will be happy if I get above a 50%

It was horrible. I find myself cursing more frequently.... not cursing per se, just finding it easier to curse. Before I had to make an effort to say a curseword and even then it would sound wrong coming from me. So, all the stress has been so negative. That is a bad thing, especially for me. I don't want to curse and hav a filthy mouth that is unfit to pray to God. I think I'm kind of unworthy as it is, but especially if I curse, that is definitely bad. After watching All my Children, I'm definitely praying the rosary. THen I'll take a shower, and go to Big Lots. I hope Big Lots will be nice.

I forgot to mention>> I was walking back to Lakeside from the Reitz Union, which is a good mile in distance, and thankfully Shane saw me walking along and offered a ride. ^_^

Allyanahis spending the night, and Johnae blew up the air mattress w/ her blow drier. haha, it's the ghettofied air pump, but it works!

Today was Grace's b-day. Totally forgot!! what a horrible person I am. I was even ignoring her when she was knocking on the door. I'll try to answer the door from now on, even if Brigette's kinda annoyed. She stood up for me against Will. How sweet of her. ^_^

A short story, by Amanda Diego

There was a knock on the door. our heroine, dressed in her PJs and in a slightly foul mood from doing calculus, opens the door. On the other side is the boy who lives across the pod from her. He steps inside and asks for a cup of juice. He's mixing drinks, he says.
She goes to her roommate's fridge to get juice and returns with the carton. He asks who plays the keyboard. She replies that she does. He also plays, he tells her. He leaves.
He comes back less than ten minutes later asking for another cup of juice. He looks over at the keyboard again and notices the Chopin book. He says he plays Motzart. He proceeds to play for her the Fantasy in D Minor. Although slightly inebriated, he plays with agile fingers. She is thoroughly impressed, for she had not heard someone else play a classical piece for her yet in UF.
He is thankful for the refill on the juice, and he asks her what she's doing tonight. She says she is studying calculus 3 for a test the next day. He says He had already taken that course, along with differential equations. He was majoring in Aerospace Engineering, but switched to Financing.
Despite her inital judgement that because he was well-groomed and chic he was gay, she is now fostering a crush for the boy that lives across the pod from her.

I'm at Shands Hospital right now, and I'm supposed to be volunteering. Is it my fault that they don't need anything? At least I got some Bio Engineering Homework done.

I still got two hours left... I've been here since 11. I'm thinking of reading physics, but that just makes too much sense right now.

Maybe at 1pm I should disappear and watch All my children?? There's got to be a patient that loves soap operas on this unit.

Absolutely loved today... except the part where i worked on a problem for 3 hours and got nowhere on it. They warn you about these things in grade school, and I was shocked when I first heard about such problems. Now I hate it, because I feel that I put so much work in that I better solve it. Yeah, I still get nowhere.

I set my alarm for 6, and then I woke up, got back to sleep, woke up, got back to sleep, finally dragged myself out of bed around 7.
I got into trouble during calculus for looking at my newspaper. He put it in my backpack. ^_^ So funny.

Schwarzenneger is governor of Cali... isn't that just weird? Great for the Republicans, but I seriously think this is one of those signs that the world is coming to an end... or just going to a really low place. Who knows, I could be wrong. We'll see what happens.

Max gave me a free tall Mocha something or other. Yummy! It's the reason I'm up right now. That and my homework. I love friends who give me free stuff. Ahhh... I feel so loved.

I met up with Layla at lunch... and then I introduced Layla to Krystle. They got along well. ^_^ And, I ended up telling Krystle what went down w/ me and Lavell. I didn't want to, but Layla kinda blurted it out, so I had to explain.I don't want to bias Krystle, because I know she and Lavell are friends.

I'm just typing in random thoughts as I go. These events are obviously not in chrono- order.

I played tennis w/ Kari, which was a great workout! I'm so proud of myself for still knowing how to play, and I'm proud of Kari for getting better as the night went on.

Smallville was interesting... Just like a soap opera. Speaking of which, I should find out what happened in All My Children. Did Bianca tell her lover Lina that she's going to carry Michael's baby to term? Did Jack find out what Erica and David were doing on the night of Michael's murder? Will Kendall and Ryan ever hook up?? What's the deal w/ Juan Pablo and Carlos?

We'll see what happens.

Good night!