xmas recap, biloxi excursion, and good ole p-cola

Some people say, 'tis better to give than to receive. Well, I gave. $500 worth of stuff. I bet you that frugal people quoted that to get more out of their more generous friends. The jerks. =P However, I did get some nice presents. I got a cute pink XOXO mini-backpack, a pink v-neck lacy top, a mini makeup kit, a Ginobili jersey (!), and the book I wanted (he's just not that into you).

It actually snowed for Christmas. Everywhere except for where I was. It snowed in pcola, and lots of areas in Texas, but not SA. The Christmas party was basically me singing karaoke until midnight, and then the drunken titos take over with their renditions of jingle bells, puff the magic dragon, and desperado. Yes, fun was had by all, but maybe a little too much fun had by certain others. And then, there are some people whom I would never have pegged for... thrill-seekers. Shocking and crazy, and a bit disgusting... ewww.

We went to Houston on Christmas day. Had an uneventful Christmas night watching DVDs at my Aunt's house, but got to reconnect with an old acquaintance, so all was not lost. But, the drive to Houston was what the day was really about. Getting drunk off Sprite and Sudafed, hahaha... good times.

The family headed for Biloxi, watched an overpriced Broadway Christmas show, and in the after hours my parents gambled. I can't wait til next year when i can join them! Yes!!!!

So, now I'm back in p'cola. Did my bit in raising the local economy down in the mall. I also managed to read that self-help book cover to cover, and let me tell you... it's pretty redundant info, but it's worth it.

At the end of the book, it says that I should make my own list of "super helpful standards that I will never ever forget or forsake no matter how hot I think he is," so without further adieu:

1. I will not date a man who invades my personal space without permission.
2. I will not be with a man who does not respect my values.
3. I will not be with a man who disrespects my family and their values.
4. I will not date a man who is a self-proclaimed anything.
5. I will not go out with a man against whom I would feel I'm constantly debating.

Owen tried to argue with me on one of the book's dogmas: do not date a man who does not ask you out first. The only reason I cannot argue to capacity is because... well, owen is a special case, and his views on mating rituals are a bit warped. Oh, and owen also says I'm unapproachable. To him, I am. good.

Wearing ribbons and a bow has never been so in style

Went crazy in Borders today and wrapped up a storm, and we got over $300 in donations! Shooooot.... it had to be my girl and I being loud and illegally cute. Too bad none of the money goes to me, but I got free coffee from a guy whose first name is my last name.

As much as I love being in Texas, I really miss the freedoms I had in Gainesville, because now there are parents within a 20-foot radius. So, pretty much all we're allowed to go out for is shopping. Kristine has major Christmas shopping left to do (talk about last minute, it's Christmas EVE!), and even though I'm done, I keep shopping too. Daaannnng..... Too much money spent, I'm a poor broke college child with a falling GPA.

My daddy bought a new car today, and traded in the car which I affectionally call "the spursmobile." It's the end of an era, for sure. We have had that car for as long as my Aunt has been married (since '93). We went from coast to coast, roadtrippin' in that car, and back in the day I thought it was the best car. We had a TV, VCR, and a nintendo in it, and it had two coolers on both sides. Now that I look back on it, we were pimpin' it at the time. HAHA, who knew?? I remember when we traded in another van we had... it was a Ford Aerostar. It was back in 96 or something, and I cried and cried and begged my dad not to trade it, but trading it was unavoidable. Now, I just don't care about the spursmobile. We've probably spent more time in that car than we've lived in our house, and maybe my apathy is accountable to my maturity, but I feel like I should feel more sympathy to that car. Sure, it's an inanimate object, but we sold it, right before Christmas. We're going to be driving back to Florida in that new car-- a Lexus RX300. It's going to be soooo cramped. Grrrrr.

So here's the deal w/ stupid leaner. He thinks he's flirting back. Yes, back. What the heck. I'm making an effort to make this Blog more child-friendly with a little less F-four-letter-words, but I am in such a disbelief that makes me wish I knew more expletives so that I could utilize them for this very person and this very situation. Perhaps I could invent some, but later when I'm more composed, maybe. The other night I was searching iVillage.com for advice on letting him down gently. Here is the funniest I found:

I don’t believe in God or marriage, and I think drug legalization is the way to go.

But then again, he might think I'm flirting with him, because he is that dense. Here's most likely what I will say:

Thank you for your interest, I am flattered by the compliment. However, I am interested in someone else at this time. I wish you all the luck in finding someone who is compatible with you.

But, who says compatible in conversational talk, really? I wish I could just yell at him. Lots of bad words. Bad words that begin with F and end with uck you. But, I'm ready for a happy Christmas Eve, free from weirdo leaner thoughts. The Spurs won against the Twolves tonight. Yay, they did not let me down two nights in a row, and tomorrow I will definitely sell out to the sushi chef in G-ville who dogs on my boys.

Well, try out for American Idol AGAIN!

For the past couple days I've been singing at every party, and the Titas and Titos all go crazy. =) It's hard not to have an inflated ego right now, but I'm trying to keep myself grounded with the fact that my semester report card is going to be the worst yet. I already know it. Well, at least I have my superlative singing career to fall back on =P

It's also been hard not to talk about certain people I left behind in Gainesville... some whom I miss, and some who lean. Although the latter is infinitely more detestable, I can't help but tell and retell stories of his attempts, because I'm sure everyone would enjoy a good laugh.

And then, there is he from whom my misfortunes stem. He who ruined my semester by smiling at me. I find it hard to talk about him without smiling and putting my first name and his last name together. Funny and pathetic, but oh well... there's always tomorrow to start anew.

The wedding was simply fabulous, and I cannot believe how perfect Bonnie and Chris are for each other. They're now taking a cruise somewhere in the Caribbean (and getting some major freakiness on!). Their story is so sweet: high school sweethearts, one another's first and only love, saved themselves for marriage, etc. People would tell me that I would be the kind that would save myself as well. Even though I haven't even kissed a guy yet, I don't know about that. I guess, I will give it serious thought whenever I am put in the situation, but for now I wouldn't want to commit myself either way. Meanwhile... their wedding wasn't without its glitches, which I couldn't help but wince at. And, of all places to have a honeymoon, they choose a big boat. I'm not saying it's a bad choice, but for sure mine will be on some kind of solid ground.

And now I'm in SA. Seeing everyone again was teriffic, but seeing John Luke and Michael again was definitely a shock to my senses. Tall and cute, that's all that I could think. And... 13?! definitely having a pedophilic moment. oh dear, I'm disgusted with myself. Thirteen year-olds are not supposed to be looking so... matured.

I have one Christmas wish to you this year, Santa, but I don't know if this is something that your elves can put together. I want resolution to all the uncertainties. Thanks.

and the leaning continues!

Hey, Frankenstein, why aren't you taking care of the monster you created?! And speak of the fucking devil- he's calling me right now. Who fucking calls at 3:30 in the morning?! I am so ready to tear him up. This is FRUSTRATING. Grrr.... Take a hint: I rejected you soooo many times.

Do you know what he said tonight? He told me that I should have him over at my apartment. ha...

...No.

Losers are strictly forbidden. I've become less and less forgiving in his situation, because really... he should have gotten a clue looooong ago.

His own ignorance is setting him up for getting his ego bashed in by the blunt baseball bat of truth, and whenever I come up to the plate, I'll be so eager to swing....

Okay, let's move on to more pleasant things. I do have a new admirer who is a very refreshing escape from the leaner. Eeek! there's that name again. That's it-- and derivative of lean is strictly forbidden from this blog henceforth. No more. Nein. Nyet. Wala.

I'm a perfectly fantastic person, and I don't need him, or any other him for that matter.

Next time I post, I'll be in Texas!

update on the leaner

He just called, and i just had to vent. Here are the following things he tried to get me to do with him: orgo studying, party tomorrow (at none other than the object of my stalkings), valentine's, FSA formal in April, and dating. However, he did lay off trying to front me, so I was not as annoyed.

It was actually quite refreshing to be able to hold a real conversation with him for about 2 minutes

I did remain blunt and i did not lead him on, however, I cannot help what he still feels. I've been trying to call my fairy godmother but he's not picking up, so blogger will have to do til then.

Yes, there's a party tomorrow at Dr. Can's place. If I were to go, it would be for him, and not for the leaner. Even then, my presence at the party would be shaky, depending on how much studying will be accomplished during the day. If it was anything like today, then I will be confined to my room for the rest of the night. I won't see the leaner, but then I won't see the good doctor.

Leaner not only asked me to be his girlfriend, but he asked me to be his valentine and his date to the FSA formal in April.

He covered all his bases for the spring semester...

I had my reservations before about showing up at the FSA semi because he was the first to ask me to that, and i would have shown up with someone else, but now I'm a little less forgiving. oh dear me, what did i do to deserve such attentions?

I want to know so I can stop

Formal: I'll be holding out for Dr. Can. Or maybe Tiger. Or someone else who isn't the leaner.

Sleep-deprived, and CNN is on

All the blood in my veins- gone. It's been replaced by cheap instant coffee. I hate exam time.

I cannot believe Scott Peterson has been sentenced to death. I can't believe the jury didn't like him that much. I mean, I think he's a mo-fo wife killer that deserves to be castrated w/o anesthesia, and I do think he's going to the worst part of hell, but wow... death.

Yesterday made it one year since Saddam Hussein was captured. Isn't strange how both Saddam Hussein and Scott Peterson were brought to justice on the same day? I wonder what will happen a year from now. I wonder if this somehow marks the second coming. If the second coming is at hand, then I hope it comes before tomorrow so I wouldn't have to study for my Wednesday morning exam.

Most likely not. Oh well.

Horoscope:

Now is a good time to go out on dates or ask folks out for the first time. Your interpersonal skills are flawless and you'll get along well with almost anyone.

Yeah. I can imagine that phone call right now: "Hey. I'm the girl of your dreams. I want you to take me out." Why would I say that? don't know, but I love utilizing Franz Ferdinand lyrics to 'da illest.

**One more thing-- isn't if funny how I would prefer judgement day over exams?

Tables are turned, sucker!

We'll see how much longer this can go for before you crack. Great advice, you guys. Confidence is key.

I looked good at the restaurant today. No, really. I was looking so good, all the guys were hollering. One family was paying out, and the mother told me i was pretty. I said, oh, thank you. Then she said,

my son thinks you're pretty too, but he didn't know how to tell you!

Her son was hiding his head after that. That must have been embarrassing for him. I can only imagine if my mom went up to some guy I liked and said that.

I would go outside, bury myself a 6 foot hole, and let myself fall in.

I wonder why the hole is 6 feet deep. Who made up that rule? Maybe they didn't want dead people crawling out. Okay, morbid humor. moving on.

okay, the horoscope for today:

Everyone around you seems to be in rather giddy high spirits. It may inspire you to adopt an attitude that is less cautious than usual. Not a good idea if you're dealing with money manners. You need to be every bit as wily, resourceful and cautious as you can possibly be. Don't listen to a friend who tells you to splurge on something. What do they know about your budget? Definitely not as much as you do

Extremely pertinent as I'm heading to epcot tomorrow with my aunt. Good times.

One last thing:

If you dream of getting or giving a hickey, you are living dangerously and your reputation could be at stake. Slow down!

Who, me?? ~.^

Resolutions

Mine
+stop procrastinating
+limit CNN to 2 hours a day
+wash dishes before going to bed
+turn in homework when its due
+eye contact
+learn a new piano piece
+learn some tagalog grammar
+keep AMC to a minimum
+if you have nothing nice to say, just zip it

Brigettes
+stop lying to your roommate
+let roommate know what you took, no matter how inconsequential
+remember that roommate is ever-forgiving

So, i'm watching CNN instead of studying

Whoever says that Iraq is in no way connected to 9/11 is completely ignorant, and I daresay, still possessing a pre 9/11 mindset. 9/11 has taught us to open our eyes to possibilities of other countries being a threat to our security. Topping the list was Iraq, North Korea, and Iran. America's ties with N.Korea and Iran are picometers thin, but still there, and as long as a tie still remains, there is still hope for resolution.

Iraq time and time again has threatened the US, allied itself with anyone in opposition to our country, attacked neighboring countries to expand its own vicious empire, and spat on any and every diplomatic entreaty. I hate sounding like some arrogant American, but Sadaam Hussein could not remain as their despot for any longer without some sort of attack against us. We know he was stealing money from the UN and from his own people, he had his plans for WMD production, he had commissioned top engineers to make these WMD, and he had a great hatred for us.

How can someone honestly say that he was unaware September tenth of any sort of attack on America going down? How can people continue bashing the decision to go to war when we know very well what a malicious and evil ruler he was?

I do understand that facts weren't in place when that critical decision was made. I do not deny that they found no WMD and that only now are they coming up with evidence to justify a war declared last year. But, we did not only rely on those facts. We have decades upon decades of experience in dealing with them, and it only took common sense to see the growing hatred welling in Iraq.

I do realize the audacity of my statement, but

had we not attacked Iraq when we did, they would have had every resource in place by 2007 to launch their own attack on us.

That is what I believe.

Funny results to white peoples' ignorance

Back in 2000, I read and fell in love with every single line of Memoirs of a Geisha, and ever since then I've wanted to see it become a movie. Steven Spielberg had a claim over it for four years, but he kept postponing production because of other projects. Earlier this year, he finally decided to start, and he first recruited Chicago producer Rob Marshall to direct. Now, despite the fact that the book was written by a white man (don't be fooled by the title), and that the two people heading the movie project are two of the biggest names in Hollywood, you think they'd offer more credibility and a cultural accuracy to the movie. But no, it isn't as easy as that.

Despite Asian efforts to produce the image of a multi-national, multi-ethnic group of people, rather than either being judged as Chinese or Japanese, it has become egregiously apparent that we have not suceeded. The title character-- the Japanese Geisha Sayuri -- will be played by none other than Crouching-Tiger, Hidden Dragon star Zhang Ziyi. But, wait a minute... isn't she Chinese??? Other names on the billing: Michelle Yeoh, Karl Yune, Navia Nguyen, Tsai Chin, Kenneth Tsang. Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, Chinese, Chinese. At least they cast the Chairman as Japanese-- Ken Watanabe, the true star of the Last Samurai.

This is the white man's defense: they are actors before anything else.
My response: There's a reason no person would cast Denzel Washington as George Washington in a Revolutionary War epic, and there's a reason why Tom Hanks will never be Martin Luther King. Great actors in their own right, but they couldn't convey a part. Likewise, Korean does not equal Vietnamese does not equal Japanese. What really boils my boba tea is that these people absolutely refuse to go any other way.

So, what now? We are to sit and wait until the movie comes out next year. But for now, we can laugh. They have to get so many different translators on the movie set so that the actors, who know their native tongue (and maybe a few know English) can communicate with each other.

Moral of the story: Ignorance is costly.

Deseo tu attencion... deseo tu afecto... yo le deseo...

You're like the sun: drawing people like satellites into your orbit. Your sunny disposition warms everyone around you and draws admirers like honeysuckle draw bees. You'll be buzzing quite industriously, filled with purpose and supremely confident. Now is the time to end the procrastination and try your hand at a new skill you've been wanting to learn. Free from fears of failure, take advantage of your self-assurance and jump in with both feet. You can't win a race until you start running.

My horoscope.

2 references

...and I said I was over. =P Well, you see... before I thought there was no chance. Last night (and maybe I'm being hopeful), but I could have sworn you wanted to tell me something other than what was coming out of your mouth...

or, maybe i'm just being hopeful

I should end the procrastination and free myself fears of failure... but, first I need some coffee. I'm hoping that stupid autocad project will only take me 5 hours, but who am i kidding? If i start now, I'll be lucky to get out by 11. 11 PM, that is.

Check out the new design...

Guess what I'm wanting for Christmas.. =) So, at the expense of 3 very important classes, I spent much of yesterday doing this layout with some very unimpressive css knowledge under my belt. oh well.

Today is the last day of class! Problem is, I could use a few more days to get these things turned in. =/

Got another invitation to that damned semi-formal, and because I'd rather lie than potentially hurt someone else's feelings, I'm stuck... stuck in some muck. Would weigh out the possibilities on the blog, but i gotta finish my homework.

this sucks

I don't even know where to begin, but I will start by saying, I have the biggest head ache right now. I want to say all the

teen-angsty melodrama cliches

, despite sounding overly trite and degrading this blog from lame to pathetic, but never is it more appropriate than at this very moment.

IT'S NOT FAIR, THIS SUCKS, I HATE WHAT THEY'RE EXPECTING ME TO DO,and
THEY CAN'T MAKE ME.

Why even spend Christmas with them if they don't regard family in the same fashion? Why plan my holidays around their schedule?! Why even go home?? Here is the one sentence I could think of that would sufficely sum up all the injustice and anger and ire I'm feeling. Christmas Morning-- you know, the first morning that there was true hope in the world since the days of Creation-- I'll be

eastbound on I-10.

some morning insight

I still can't believe the attentions I'm receiving now. It's just such a different situation from a year ago, I couldn't really compare. Was it the 15-pounds shed, or the 12-inches of hair chopped off, or the DTJ performance, or... as Lavell or Brigette would put it, I went wild?

I read my posts from a year ago, and I would think the year-younger me would be doing these things under the same circumstances. I don't think my persona has changed that much, other than I have become more active socially (and i think that this activity is inversely proportional to my academic activity). But, I must admit I'm overcoming my shyness, with a little help from some really nice people whose attentions to me are a mystery yet very much appreciated. Speaking of which, I should make them all christmas cards. =)

Slowly but surely I'll get to the point where I'm confident enough in myself... but I won't worry about it the rest of the year. I'll make that a resolution for next year.

But getting back to the initial question. I wouldn't say I went wild, because I do hold the same morals and virtues as I did a year ago, excepting that I am less gaurded about the amount of alcohol I consume in the context of location and company. But I still won't go crazy drunk or anything. I never believed in prohibiting alcohol, just in conscious monitoring of intake. Other people will get stinking drunk and make fools of themselves.

Now that I think of it, the biggest change in me has been my ability to open up to people and to allow myself to be vulnerable. I have always been trusting of people's nature, but not so much of their intentions with me. Maybe I can handle it better now if they do let me down, because I have experienced it already and know that I can cope, forgive, and forget. And, I'm very happy with the people I have been able to put trust in thus far. Without them, I don't think I could be so optimistic.

Amazingly pertinent

What else could I be talking about? My horoscope from yesterday!

Be open and prompt. Whether you're among friends or in a roomful of strangers, your wishes are relevant. Your hopes might line up perfectly with someone else's possibilities. Emotional candor is part of your cosmic profile, even if you sometimes think of yourself as guarded or evasive. A bold gambit is worth the risk. You might be surprised when you see all the people who appreciate your forthcoming style. It could amaze you even more when they rise to your expectations. Maybe you're hired after a long interviewing process. Maybe you just found yourself a new tribe.

Tonight at the restaurant was... interesting. However, I got sick...

damn you, Mark

. And I did not get out until 12:15. However, I did earn $40. Not too bad, eh?

Got proposed to, and then gay guys hit on my fiance. hahaha... you know you got a good one when other guys find him attractive. One guy I never expected to really get to know totally opened up today. Good to finally get to know him, but somewhat dejected by a certain thing he told me. Oh well, it's not my place to say, even if no one reads this anyway. =P And, the quote of the night goes to Larry, who said, very audibly in the restaurant,

I don't believe you when you say you've never had a boyfriend

" Okay, so maybe you should say it in Spanish too, Larry, so the cooks in the back would be able to hear you as well. Lastly, was almost fired today, or at least I felt as if I should have been. It took me two hours to close! I would have cried had i not been so tired and amused by the situation. Mr. Boss man said to me, "I dread Sundays, because I know you're cashier-ing." OUCH. I had to bite my lip from smiling, pwaahahahaha!

I do believe that I hold a special place in each and every one of my male coworkers' hearts. They are confiding in me more, and they know about my sad lonely twenty years. Now... I believe I'm over that certain sushi chef. Just like that. It's not that I found a flaw in him, but rather I think with all the girls fawning over him, it kinda makes me standoff-ish. He's still hot, and all that, but I see have a minutae of a chance with someone as in demand as him, so I'm done. And, knowing that there's a smaller chance of my actually being something more to him, it makes me more free to do whatever I want. That means, crazy devil-may-care manda-ganda is going to take over in all her blogging glory. Mind you, this is minus the somewhat stalker-ish tendencies. Yeah... I'll neglect to tell him that.

But, that also means I no longer have someone I'm truly truly pining over. Although bittersweet to be without, it's definitely better in so many ways. 1: if I refuse to care about him, it shall be so. 2: certain levels of pining is unhealthy and destructive to my wellbeing. 3: although it made for great moments of gushing stupidly to friends, strangers, and this blog, it will mean i can talk about more important things, like P Diddy for president!

Anyway... gotta imbibe some caffeine before I pass out over my keyboard.

Press Rewind

now we're back to last week where i was a procrastinating loser who was ready to give up. Somewhere around Wednesday I became hopeful, but it was in vain. So, here's the reality I'm facing: slim chances and a fun Christmas regardless. one out of two isn't bad at all.

But, two out of two would have been just too good to be true.

... and so the story changes from fairy tale to a sub-par undramatic soap opera unfortunate enough to have me as the main star.

Three years ago, December third was a Monday.

Mr. Webb... I really wish I could hear you sing your falsetto right now. You always put us first sopranos to shame. =)

That last time, we were in Orlando singing Christmas songs, and I couldn't remember you any happier than at that moment. I can only hope that the next time we meet, I'll be a part of the choir of angels that you're conducting now.

you know you want a taste of my apritada

I'm so excited to be cooking tonight! Also, christmas decorating will be fun.

Tenative plans for getting eff-ed up this Christmas

One word:

TEQUILA!

We will try every tequila drink there is...

twice!

I have found my drinking buddy-- too bad she lives a bazillion miles away. On second thought, maybe it's better off that way. =P

It is so exciting now. We have movies to see, places to shop, and boys to string along. And the ultimate pinnacle of it all-- drunken chess and playing with plastic knives. We have planned it all. Christmas is going to be unforgetable. Well, we might not remember all of the drunken moments, or the moments where we black out from sheer exhaustion, but I'm looking forward to it all.

Now, if pesky Fluids and Heat Transfer would shrivel up and die.