When to say "no"

Last weekend, I had a great time. I saw DJ Kaskade at the Social in downtown Orlando, and even though I cannot remember anything that he played, I remember that I danced to every bit of it, so that must mean I liked it. When I come into the club, that's my persona-- perpetual dancer. Considering I don't go the the gym or participate in outdoor activities, dancing is my own form of exercise and release at the end of the week. When I go downtown, I go there to have fun and dance, and people gravitate towards me.

As happenstance would have it, I brought my camera with me. I was looking admittedly hot that night, and so was my friend, and I went crazy with my 1gb storage space. So there I was, striking poses with everyone around me. I must have taken at least 50 pictures that night. Some of the pictures turned out great, some of them didn't, and more of them revealed to me with its automatic flash what I couldn't see in the darkness of the nightclub.

It's a given that guys will come up to the club and dance with you. It is another given that guys will ask for your or some kind of way to get in touch with you. That's about the time where a fun night could extend to much more, like longterm friendship or a possible relationship. Granted, guys are out for a certain thing too, but I won't get into that. I have a great boyfriend, and I'm not at the club to make new friends. That's about the time where my judgement should have kicked in and said, "HELL NO," but I guess the DJ's music put me in a congenial mood. Damn you, Kaskade.

I woke up the next morning, and I began looking through my phone, and I happened to have received a missed call from the guy, only hours after having given him my digits. He had a sweet voicemail of feigned concern for my safety in getting home, and I had hoped it would end at that. "Had hoped," indicating that I was optimistic at one point, and then reality sunk in.

He called later that afternoon, in the middle of my college football game. Thanks to him, I had to check the final score from online. And, I would have at least hoped that it was a good convo, but it was just him talking, and might I add, abusing the art of anecdotal conversation. He probably talked for an hour, while I talked for maybe 5 minutes. So, while he was chatting away, I went on the computer and downloaded the pictures to my laptop. Oh, the horror as I looked at the 15 or so pictures of me with this guy, pose after pose, and seeing him getting progressively closer and even trying to lean in to kiss me?! Of course, I resisted. I'm not that bad of a girlfriend. But still, I'm not good enough to have just said no, and I was receiving my punishment right then.

Oh, and did I mention that he's fug? Because it wouldn't be some hot adonis that calls me the next day to strike up convo-- it would be the bottom of the barrel hoping that they can sink their teeth in before the decent guys employ the 3-day courtesy waiting time before calling.

For my flirty behavior, I was upset and ashamed. It's sad, because i love dancing with different people, but if that means that I'm enticing guys or making them think I want something more, then maybe I'm better off not dancing with them. I told my bf about it, and even vowed that I wouldn't even dance with a stranger again, let alone give him my . He was very comforting in that he trusts me and knows me well enough that I'm giving myself a beating over the experience. I could tell though that he was relieved when I showed him the picture of that fug guy and maybe wouldn't have acted the same way if the guy was like Jake Gyllenhall or something.

I <3 Brad Paisley

So, in the past I've always been one of those people who would put in my online profiles...

Music: everything... except country

But I think ever since I heard Billy Ray Cyrus 10+ years ago, I've been a fan. And no, it wasn't his "Achy Breaky Heart" which got me (although I do know the words by heart), but it's his "Where'm I Gonna Live When I Get Home" that was my favorite back in the day. For those of you who don't know, I was born and raised in Texas, which should be an indicator that I have a certain thing for cowboys. I also get that country twang when I get sleepy or excited. My first concert was Reba McIntyre when she came to San Antonio for the annual stock show and rodeo. My dad would play a tape deck of Billy Ray in the minivan when I was younger and my sister and I would sing along to his songs all the time. And yes, I even owned a pair of boots when I was younger. But being a minority in a state of whites who listened to country, I conformed with my fellow minorities who listened to pop/r&b/hiphop and detested anything and everything country. So, up until college I was a self-professed country-music hater.

I would continue cringing at that yee-haw music until a then crush of mine who was also a minority told me that he listened to country music. I consider myself a bit of a music connoisseur, and I had admired his taste in music as well, and I was curious why he listened to country. "Country music is about hanging out and having a good time, which is what I do," he replied. Wanting to prove myself, I started downloading all the current country hits. And it was then that I discovered Brad Paisley.

To me, Brad Paisley brought sexy back in a Chevy truck. His song "Mud on the Tires" was an instant favorite of mine, and he single-handedly brought me back in to country music. I started listening to country music stations and watching music videos on CMT. It was so easy to fall back into country music because it integrates corny humor, sincere lyrics, and anecdotes on everyday life with acoustic melodies. It's fun to listen to and, for the most part, inoffensive to listeners. I haven't abandoned other genres, but I've begun to appreciate country music more and more.

However, when I had recently assigned country stations to numbers 2 and 3 on my car radio presets, my boyfriend began to complain that my taste in music had gone south (haha). I hope to someday convert him =)