Resolution '05: be assertive!

So far, following my mini-resolutions such as sleeping before midnight and planning my day's outfit the night before have not really worked out. Oh well-- 3 days down, 362 more to go, right??

Today is my first day back on campus, and I'm in the computer lab right now killing time until my roommate gets out of her 11:45 class. We'll go straight from campus to GRU to discuss our bill. We have suffered through two winter months of no central heating, and we have to show for it a $100 utilities bill. It says we have used 6.5 kiloWatts, when we weren't even at the apartment for the latter half of the month. 6.5 kW is equivalent to ten 100-watt lightbulbs burning for one month-- no turning it on or off-- just continuously on. We don't even own 100-watt bulbs. We always turn off our lightbulbs, computers, and tvs when we leave the apartment, we hardly ever cook, and the only things that we don't turn off are our refrigerator and fish tanks. Something is definitely amiss.

Now, what would my blog be without another leaner moment to retell? I put myself in a hole, but I'm equipped with a very big spoon, and I intend to either dig myself a way out or dig myself a deeper hole.

The Situation: yesterday around noon, I was all by myself in my apartment, scrubbing the kitchen countertops with bleach and minding my own business, and then I hear my cellphone's polyphonic ring (a la Ciara's Goodies). Displayed on my screen is his name. My phone was in my room, so wiping off the bleach from my hands and running from my kitchen to my room was no small feat. I considered not answering, and looking back now, I can't justify a reason to which I did, other than that I had done so much to get to my cell phone. I picked up, and he says he's at the Reitz, and he offers to buy my textbooks with his deferrment. I say I'll get back to him.

My Thought process: Take a chance, you stupid ho. No, wait... that's Gwen Stefani's song. For a moment, I thought to myself, don't do it-- it's wrong. But then conniving me got a hold. It's not his money, it's the government's money, and why not accept this token after he put me through months of stressing? I called him back an hour later, met up with him at 4, and had him buy me two text books ( Mechanics of Materials, $140; Dynamics, $30) and a surge protector, $20.

Ring Ring: he called me again... once right after I left him at the Reitz, and the second time around 7. He wanted me to go to a party with him. I made my excuses. He asked me what my schedule was for this upcoming semester, so he'd know my free time so that he can call me. (freak) I told him I was pretty much busy all the time. He asked for my AOL screen name. I lied and told him I didn't have one.

Instant Shame: So, this is what I've become-- I dodge him unless he offers me expensive things. I have become a golddigger. A deferrment golddigger. That's a new low.

Voice of Reason: Omnipotent and all-knowing Kenny told me to return the books and let him down, ASAP.

My Regret: I should have kept scrubbing the countertops and let the phone keep ringing.