Long Distance Lovers

5 months ago, I though the world was crashing in when I had to move back to Orlando and away from my boyfriend in Gainesville. I vividly remember when I was leaving him. We spent nearly 30 minutes in the parking lot saying our goodbyes. He ran alongside my car for two buildings before he disappeared from my field of vision.

2 months ago, I was in Gainesville for my boyfriend's commencement ceremony. The summer had gone by uneventfully. I would visit every couple weekends or so, but he was for the most part near breaking point just trying to finish his thesis. I hung in there for moral support. His low spirits may have affected me, but I maintained optimism in a happier future for him and me. We were both preoccupied with our own situations, and distance didn't seem like a bother. And, the culmination of his stay at UF-- his graduation-- was so happy and hopeful. My parents even travelled up to watch him walk across the stage. I also helped him move in to his new apartment in Jacksonville, and we couldn't have been any happier had we both been moving in. Because Jacksonville is only 2 hours away, and because of my cousin living in Jax, I'd be able to visit often.

1 month ago, he was disappointed that his job wasn't what he envisioned. In spite of it, he was happy that our relationship still felt close. By then, we had seen each other twice, with me visiting him and him visiting me. He was even so optimistic as to say, "It doesn't feel like we're even apart."

18 hours ago, I woke up to my phone. My bf left me a text message: "Hi Ganda, I feel so lonely up here. I wish that we could be together on a daily basis. I miss you so much. I love you. How I think of the times that we were together..." I quickly call him up, and he stats telling me that he doesn't know if we're on the same level when the relationship is as serious as it is. His tone is bleak and dour, and I am frightened to tears. Admittedly, I've procrastinated on my grad school app, but he takes it to heart and thinks that I'm not taking our future seriously because of my dalliance. Also my parents have become such an issue. True, a man his age shouldn't have to be sneaking around to be intimate with his own long term girlfriend, but with my parents one has to honor formalities. It's all on me. The success of this relationship is all on me, and it can't be any harder to bear right now. Realistically, we won't be able to be together until after I finish my program in '09. He's even telling me now that the two hour travel back and forth is exhausting and takes away from his work performance, and that he may one day even opt not to see as not to sacrafice his energy during the work week. So, are hope and love enough to make this long-distance relationship last?
20 minutes ago, I wished him goodnight as we got off the phone. He couldn't tell me enough that he loved me. His perspective changed drastically from this morning, after receiving input from others. For now our relationship is fine, but how long will this last? I don't know which adage to refer to: Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or out of sight, out of mind.